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Some politician from Indiana – named Bob Morris – has become a champion to get the truth out about The Girl Scouts, that they promote homosexuality; which is fantastic, the more girls who grow up wanting to have sex with other girls increases the chances for us guys to have a threesome. Thanks for the heads up, Mr. Morris. The first question a guy should ask a chick at the bar should be, ‘So, you ever been in the Girl Scouts… how about your roommate?”

Morris said he made his discoveries after talking to some knowledgeable constituents and conducting “a small amount of Web-based research.” He said the discussion and research led to his conclusions that the Girl Scouts encourage sexual activity, are a front for Planned Parenthood, and that scouts are encouraged to look up to role models who endorse feminist, lesbian and Communist agendas. (latimes)

I love how he says he did a “small amount of Web-based research;” this means that according to my research if you point a camera at a college chick she’ll take her top off, and if you give her a shirt she’ll have lesbian sex with her friend. And when you put all this together, the Girl Scouts must be the main supplier for Girls Gone Wild. I love the internet, nothing has to be true…

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Some pervert made a book of little paper dolls of Prince William and Kate Middleton in their underwear for kids to play with… yeah, I know, it’s creepy, and yeah, I know, little paper Kate is kind of hot. If I had any ambition at all I would put out a book of ‘alternative’ dressing options for adults: lingerie, leather attire complete with gimp mask, slutty cheerleader/nurse/school girl, etc.

And is it a British thing to tuck your shirt into your underwear? It looks really stupid.

Related posts:

1. the Princess’ dress beats the First Lady’s, no one cares…
2. no more online porn in England…

I don’t know if this is supposed to be some kind of ol’ timey joke, but either way it’s really funny. This guy – named Foster Friess (damn I want a chocolate dipped cone so bad right now) -  is a major financial backer for Rick Santorum, or I guess I need to say he’s a backer for a Super PAC that supports Santorum.

Maybe he means that if a girl holds an aspirin with their knees then you can’t have sex with her; I’m not sure when Doggie Style was invented, so it could be that Missionary was all they had back then…

And I love how the news anchor has no follow-up to that; no, ‘Are you joking?’ or even a ‘What?’ She just bails on it. That was gold right there; she has to know that something like that is going to go viral and to capitalize on it. Here’s the joke with the set up:

I get such a chuckle when these things come out. Here we have millions of our fellow Americans unemployed, we have jihadist camps being set up in Latin America, which Rick has been warning about, and people seem to be so preoccupied with sex. I think that says something about our culture. We maybe need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s such inexpensive. Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

Or maybe this guy has some kind of stake in Bayer and this was just some clever product placement; banking on some idiot kids using Bayer Aspirin when they don’t have a condom. Of course it’ll work baby, I heard it on the news.

Related posts:

1. some old heavy metal guy likes Rick Santorum…

Megadeth is a band from the 80′s… or 90′s, or whenever dudes with scratchy voices put on their girlfriend’s pants, sang about girlfriends, and had sex with everyone else’s girlfriend. And Dave Mustaine is in Megadeth. He set the interverse (hmm, I tried to combine ‘internet’ and ‘universe,’ I dislike myself right now) on fire because he apparently came out in support of GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum. But now he’s pulling back a bit:

“Contrary to how some people have interpreted my words, I have not endorsed any presidential candidate,” the rocker said in the release, obtained by Billboard.com. “What I did say was that I hope to see a Republican in the White House. I’ve seen good qualities in all the candidates but by no means have made my choice yet. I respect the fact that Santorum took time off from his campaign to be with his sick daughter, but I never used the word ‘endorse.’” (nydailynews)

I know, right. Crazy stuff. I can’t wait to find out who Dave Mustaine actually endorses. No one who knows anything make a political decision without first checking with Dave Mustaine. What do I know, though, maybe he’s one of the greatest political minds of our time and now I have egg on my face. What does that even mean? That’s a saying, right; “egg on my face?” I don’t like it. It sounds too much like I was on the receiving end of the last thing that happens during a porn scene. Similar texture…

Related posts:

1. great, now everyone’s going to be saying, “Have you googled Romney”…