Political Sex

Roger Clemens is a Major League Baseball pitcher who took steroids, and then told Congress that he didn’t take steroids. Now, he has pleaded not guilty to lying to Congress, because if you lie to Congress, you go to jail for a very long time. From this story:

The seven-time Cy Young Award winner, widely considered one of the greatest professional baseball pitchers of all time, faces up to 30 years in prison and a $1.5 million fine if found guilty of the charges, However, federal sentencing guidelines for first-time offenders make a sentence of 15 to 21 months more likely if Clemens is convicted.

Clemens, 48, could become the first player to serve prison time for the abuses of what has come to be known as the “Steroid Era” in baseball. “The Rocket,” as he became known on and off the field, is charged with one count of obstruction of Congress, three counts of making false statements and two counts of perjury for his testimony during the 2008 congressional probe into a report on steroid use in baseball written by former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell.

If you did something wrong, and Congress asks you if you did that wrong thing, either suck it up and say yes, and hope your lawyer is amazing, or just don’t say anything and hope your lawyer is amazing.

This guy is sunk. He’ll do jail time; how much? Who cares? The guy throws a ball really well. Big deal. I wiggle my ears better than anyone I know, except for that kid that lived down the street from me growing up, but he moved to the East Coast, so he doesn’t count. God damn I hate that kid so much - he didn’t have to be so smug about it - but you could tell he really practice at it; while I was playing squirt guns, he was in his room staring at his ears in the mirror. And while I admire his dedication the art, I wasn’t going to give up my childhood for it… for better or worse.

Related posts:

1. shut the hell up Senator Dick Durbin…
2. aren’t they already supposed to know the Constitution…
3. so I guess we’re just screwed then…
4. i said, I invoke the 5th!..