Political Sex

The government set aside $591,000 to study sex, according to the New York Post:

• Examine “barriers to correct condom use” at Indiana University, at a cost of $221,000.
• Study “hookups” among adolescents at Syracuse University. Study’s cost: $219,000.
• Evaluate “drug use as a sex enhancer” in an analysis of “high-risk community sex networks” at the University of Illinois, Chicago. That study will cost $123,000.
• Study how methamphetamine, thought to produce an “insatiable need” for sex among users, “enhances the motivation for female rat sexual behavior.” Some $28,000 has been awarded for the University of Maryland at Baltimore study.

I’m a little embarrassed after reading this, I mean, it seems so obvious now; how could I be so stupid? I actually tried to start a “high-risk community sex network” and I just couldn’t get it to take off. Attendance was fine, no problem there… I just couldn’t get anyone to have sex with each other. I had lots of pillows, soft red and yellow lights, some mellow techno - it was perfect – but everyone kept asking me where the condoms are; they said it was my, the hosts, responsibility to provide the protection. I kept telling them, “No, no, no… this is a ‘high-risk sex network. Now, go, have some sex.” After seeing what they want to study, I know where I went wrong: No Drugs! Damn, it was right there the whole time.

That picture is from Meet the Feebles, a movie by Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. It’s kind of like Lord of the Rings except only if the Orcs were taking massive amounts of drugs and raping the Elves, and Frodo was directing a porno staring the giant spider. And it’s all done with puppets. So yes, you need to see it if you haven’t.

No related posts.