Political Sex

A State Department employee in Russia – not that you need to know his name, but it’s Kyle Hatcher - was on a Russian website having sex with a prostitute… In my head I imagine Russian prostitutes to be really hot; always smoking cigarettes and only wearing underwear, because there’s no reason to put ALL your clothes back on when you’re having sex for money all day long. Of course I also imagine them all having amazing Russian accents, which is stupid because they probably speak Russian there.

Anyway, it turns out that this is a fake sex tape to discredit this guy. You still want to see it though; it’s still a sex tape, right? Barely… Here’s the link to the Russian website where you can see the video with some boobies in it. Link 

Do all Russian sex tapes have such high production value? I love how they set the mood by showing the guy walking around a city at night, clearly on his way to go a’whorin’. Do they really think people will believe someone followed this government official around, caught him with a hooker, and then instead of going straight to get the news out they took the time to do a little post-production, adding music and jump cuts.

If I was Hatcher I’d be feeling pretty lucky right now. If this were the 80′s, the Russians would still have used a prostitute, but she’d actually be a sexy assassin who would’ve seduced Hatcher at a local bar and because she was so irresistible to men, he’d be poisoned by her lipstick and dead before he hit the floor. Of course, that’s only if it happened before Pretty Woman was made; since then nobody kisses their hookers because we don’t want to get emotionally attached to some filthy-diseased-up whore… Richard Gere makes me sick, (spit sound). Who marry’s their hooker? Amatuer!

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