strap it up for the environment…
“Experts” are saying that 76 million unwanted children are conceived every year. I find that really funny. This story from London reports that a medical journal editorializes that 200 million women want condoms and don’t have access to them. So we need to get them condoms. AND – of course – the environmentalists welcome that idea because people are destroying the planet and that if the women of the world all had access to condoms, no more people would be born and the planet would be saved. Okay, I don’t care either way; I’m already here Suckas! But I don’t know if condoms and pills are the way to go. Chicks say they’re on the pill, but don’t trust them – that’s how they get ya – and condoms are tricky, especially when you’re wasted.
I say infest the “Third World” (because of course that’s who we’re all worried about breeding; we had our fun, we’ve taken all the resources, No Fun For You! Poor countries are stupid) with copious amounts of pornography. Let’s get people around the world excited about the Money Shot. Problem solved. Sure, the timing takes some time to get down, but with enough practice we could knock the unwanted births down by 65% – I did the math, yes I’m that god damn smart. And how the hell would anyone be able to prove me wrong anyway. “I’m sorry sir, but that is impossible, a worldwide Money Shot initiative would only cut the unwanted pregnancies by 43%.” F’ you statisticians, like that’s a real job.
I like that, “The Worldwide Money Shot Initiative.” What else would be a good slogan? “Pull Out for the Environment” “Save Open Space, Put it on Her Face” Ewww… Any ideas? Leave them in the comments.
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