Political Sex

Okay, you have to admit, that subject line is pretty clever… This McChrystal guy they’re talking about in Rolling Stone is a General in the armed forces – he’s running the Afghanistan war thing. And there’s some generalized nonsense out there. Here’s the article if you want to read it.

Now everyone is all butt-hurt about it. From the bits I’ve read and from the news I blindly believe because who really cares anyway, he didn’t really do or say anything – his aides are the ones that say McChrystal said the naughty stuff about Obama; like he didn’t think he look prepared. Which, of course he wasn’t prepared to be in charge of the life and death of potentially everyone in the world – I mean, I could handle that kind of responsibility, but I’ve played a lot of Command and Conquer/and I’ve started that RISK game at least a half dozen time. That game takes forever.

And what’s up with Lady Gaga and the boob gun get up. That’s not very shocking; it’s not weird, is it? Her ass is definitely air-brushed, her face still looks like a dude, and… fuck, it’s just stupid – it’s over. She shot her wad. If I was her, I would have done the cover dressed like a wholesome Middle East woman in a hot version of a burqa, showing too much ankle and shoulder. That would have been cool. But, no, she’s just boring as usual; ordinary.

Update! This guy is relieved of his command, and some other guy who’s in the news sometimes is taking over… How does this affect you? Well, if you’re at a bar for happy hour when some ‘business’ type chick who want to pretend she cares about the world says something like, “can you believe that McCrystal stuff…” You can say, “I know, right, I can’t believe he was relieved..” And then you’ll look at each other, realizing neither one of you know enough about it to talk about it further; what do you do in this situation? Tequila.

Yes! We got one. A top al-Qaida guy was killed by an unmanned drone in Afghanistan, or Iraq, whatever; unmanned drones are F’n cool, like a real life video game. Kind of like the movie Running Man.

• The officials said the killing was the result of stepped-up operations targeting al-Qaida leaders in recent weeks.

Stepped-up? What the hell have we been doing? Shouldn’t that be status quo; killing the leaders should always just be up already with no room to step up more, because that seems kind of important to the whole war thingy.

You know what we should do… What’s that… We should kill the enemy… Wow, that’s a great idea… Yeah? Thanks, but how do we do that… We could go out and find the enemy and then drop a bomb on them… Hmm, that could work… Yeah, it just might.

Just a side note: I don’t like how the “al” in ”al-Qaida” isn’t capitalized. I mean, it’s not an organization I belong to, so I don’t really care, but still, you’d think they’d want it to be Al-Qaida. And it seems like the Qaida part’s spelling keeps changing, is that just me? There’s really no way to find out – except by looking through past news stories, but who’s going to do that, I mean, really…

(why puppies? why the hell not… what you don’t like puppies)

President Obama gave a presidential speech and everyone seems to be surprised that he sounded like a president. The president can’t just go to the press room at the White House and say, “I’m sending more troops to Afghanistan, thank you.” The poor bastard has to fly all the way to West Point (I actually have no idea where West Point is; I just imagine it’s really far from everywhere) and talk for over a half hour about the same war everyone’s been talking about for years. And Obama gets compared to Bush. No shit! It’s not like Bush had bad political minded people and speech writers on his staff – he just sounded like an idiot. Obama probably said, “Alright. What should we say about the war in Afghanistan.” ‘Here you go, sir.’ “Thank you. Okay, let’s see here… uh, there must be some mistake, this is exactly what Bush always said?” ‘Yes, sir.’ “There must be some mistake.” ‘No, sir.’ “Hmm. You know, this is actually pretty good stuff.” ‘Thank you, Mr. President.’ “Oh, yeah… I can work this shit out. Hey, you over there.” ‘Who me?’ “Yeah you, you’re the only one standing over there… bring me some coffee, and take you’re shirt off, bra too.”  ’Take my…’ “Take the shit off, bitch… because I’m the president, that’s why!” That’s probably how that meeting went; I wasn’t there so I have to take what I know about people and politics and life, and use my best judgement.

Oh yeah, for all those fucking idiots out there who are mad that Obama is sending more troops to Afghanistan because that’s not what you voted for… that’s exactly what you fucking voted for! Obama said through his entire campaign that he would send more troops to Afghanistan. God damn it I hate people.

A bunch of young guys hanging out together in a foreign country, and Hillary Clinton doesn’t think they should be partying? Oh, what a Bitch… Okay, so they’re soldiers at the US Embassy in Afghanistan, but shouldn’t the extreme chance of death give them the right to get wasted and bang a couple of Afghan hookers. Not to mention that said ‘banging of hookers’ puts money into the economy of the country we’re trying to develop. Win-win, Hillary…

I like how in this story they say, the guards are having fun with ‘booze, hookers, and other “deviant behavior.” Other deviant behavior? Booze, hookers and… drugs? porno? cock-fights? What, god damn it, what!