Political Sex

Former Miss California and shamed Miss America contestant Carrie Prejean wrote a book laying out how she’s going to take over the world, in six easy steps… whatever, it could be about that, no one really cares. People might actually buy it if it was about that.

I don’t even know why the is Political Sex worthy; she’s a hot ultra-conservative chick with fake tits who made a tape of herself masturbating when she was 17 years old and sent it to her boyfriend - and that’s probably why she dropped her lawsuit against the Miss America Pageant and Donald Trump. Good enough for you!? Get off my back, jeez! I’m still trying to figure it all out, find my place on the World Wide Web.

And if you’re looking for the video – give it up, she was 17! Not going to happen Awesome Update!

So some losers decided to write a book about put a bunch of stuff other people wrote about Sarah Palin into a book – Going Rouge: An American Nightmare - to be released (by themselves) the same day as Palin’s book – Going Rogue: An American Life.

• The anti-Palin book, compiled by Richard Kim and Betsy Reed, senior editors at the left-leaning The Nation magazine, claims to offer up “the real Palin.”

Yeah, f’n stupid. No one’s going to read it, and these douche bags get to be interesting at a couple of parties… whatever. At least Sarah Palin’s book will be good for a laugh.

I need to write a book, it seems it can be about anything… ANYTHING! Oh, Sarah Palin has a book coming out, I think I’ll asked one thousand 4 year olds what they think of her and record what they say.

Possible answers:

Palin, calin, malin – I got a popsicle yesterday. It was red.

Mommy says she’s a whore.

Sarah Palin represents the futility of man; older men like attractive women with similar ideals, coupled with the media’s obsession with… (Hey! Beat it dwarf; pretending to be a kid - what’s the matter with you!?)

Poop smells.

It would probably be billion dollar live television event, if Sarah Palin actually did (as in F’d) Oprah Winfrey; but no, she is just doing (as in sitting on the couch on her stupid show) Oprah Winfrey. It’ll still be a highly watched show – Monday, November 16 – but really not even close to how many people would watch them bump uglies. This will be the first interview Palin will be doing to hock her new book Going Rogue: An American Life; Nailin’ Palin was already taken:

• Palin’s book was No. 4 on Amazon.com’s best-seller list on Tuesday. It’s slated to be released Tuesday, Nov. 17, the day after Palin’s interview with Winfrey.

Best-seller? What, are they giving it away? No, but they are giving a 69% discount, from amazon.com:

Wow, I need a Butt Boy. Do you have to be a weird little douche of a human being like John Edwards to get one?

That guy on the left did everything Edwards wanted, everything; even when Edwards knocked some chick up, the Butt Boy claimed he was the father so Edwards wouldn’t have to go through a scandal. Holy God Damn! John Edwards is the BIGGEST douche ever! Wow. It was Butt Boy’s dream to go to the White House, however he had to get there, but for Edwards to allow him to do that… whatever, they’re both assholes.

• _________ sometimes described himself as Edwards’s “special assistant” and dreamed of serving in an Edwards White House. Other aides, with a combination of disgust — and, perhaps, a bit of envy — referred to him as Edwards’s “personal servant,” or worse, Edwards’s “butt boy.”

I won’t say Butt Boy’s name, it’s not worth knowing. But if you really need to konw it’s in this story. He did write a book. Hell, if I was some one’s butt boy, and I didn’t get what I thought I deserved I’d write a book too. This definitely goes in the Another Loser with a Book pile with Jenny Sanford. Guess who also wrote a damn book: Elizabeth Edwards. It seems like all you have to do is let John Edwards piss all over you, and you get a book deal. She writes about Butt Boy:

• She and her husband were, she wrote, his victims — guilty only of “being vulnerable to obsequiousness.”

Don’t worry, I looked it up; obsequiousness – Full of or exhibiting servile compliance; fawning. Victims of someone doing whatever they wanted… I can hear the movie trailer now, “And just when you thought it was safe to wash your own car, you discover it was already washed… AND WAXED. Don’t miss Butt Boy… Taking over the World… one dry cleaned suit at a time…”

What a mess-of-an-existence all around.

I need to marry a chick politician or a famous broad, whatever, and then get cheated on. I’d be so ungiving, and selfish, and whatever else that would encourage her to cheat on me – which would then become a big scandal in the media… And then I’d clean up with a book deal. That’s what Jenny Sanford is doing. She’s the wife of the governor of South Carolina who was banging some chick in Argentina (which is awesome by the way, you should try it). Bravo Jenny; one appearance on Oprah and you’re golden. Look at that Phillips lady talking about doing her dad – done! Millions of books sold – if only I was so lucky. Damn you average childhood!

• The publisher says Sanford “will grapple with the universal issue of maintaining integrity and a sense of self during life’s difficult times.”

I submitted a proposal to write a book once: it was about this one difficult time in my life that I took some chick out to dinner, spent like $50 and then Nothing! not even an HJ on the drive to drop her off; and how I almost just went home, almost ended the night right then, but NO, I picked myself up and dusted myself off… I went back to the restaurant, got shitty drunk at the bar and then took our waitress home. There was a lot of self discovery on the drive back to the restaurant. The publisher said that the masses wouldn’t be able to relate, and I told them I was fine with that because I wouldn’t want losers reading it anyway, but I guess they’re all about the money, not the message. Boy, what’s happened to this country, right? A shame, just a shame…