Political Sex » Arnold Schwarzenegger

another loser with a book: Arnold Schwarzenegger…

Political Sex — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 23:26:02 +0000

Arnold Schwarzenegger is not, I repeat NOT writing a “tell all” book. But he is writing a memoir, from this story:

Tentatively titled Total Recall:My Unbelievably True Life Story, the book will discuss the breakup of his marriage to Maria Shriver in addition to his youth in Austria and his work in bodybuilding, film, and politics. A source told PEOPLE that the book will “not be a tell-all.”

Why would anyone want to read that book, besides to get a detailed breakdown of the motivation behind the character John Kimble in Kindergarten Cop. It really was a brilliant performance. And why was there no sequel, Kindergarten Cop 2nd Grade is still begging to be made.

Do you think the chick in Total Recall in the three-tits costume had sex with anyone while in costume? I like to think yes; it’d be a waste if not, just a waste.

wait, Arnold Schwarzenegger had more affairs, shocking…

Political Sex — Fri, 20 May 2011 00:10:18 +0000

This is like Tiger Woods all over again, except Tiger’s mistresses were smoking hot, and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s look like the pickin’s you’d have after nuclear war wiped out the majority of humankind and the only women to survive look like they are robust and sturdy, with the durability of cockroaches. The new one is Gigi Goyette Jeffers – who was on ‘Little House on the Prairie’ or something, from this story:

…the two were reunited again in 1989 when Arnold organized his Arnold Fitness weekend in Ohio and Gigi was sent to coordinate events by her employer, World Gym. “He called me ‘Shee Shee’ in this really sexy accent,” Gigi recalls. Swoon!

“I gave Arnold a massage, and then we had oral sex,” Gigi says of the then three years married actor. “Arnold explained that we couldn’t have full intercourse — just what he called outercourse.”

Outercourse!? Damn it. That was the subtitle of my Running Man 2 script. ‘Running Man 2: Outercourse’ would be set on a settlement on Mars, where Arnold’s character would have to navigate a course while running from and battling secret agents, corrupt politicians, mutants and memory distortion.

the chick Schwarzenegger banged, and other links…

Political Sex — Wed, 18 May 2011 17:22:56 +0000

Yale fraternity where Bush 1 & 2 were members was suspended for chanting, “No means yes, yes means anal.” Well, they’re half right

Here are pictures of the maid Arnold put his penis into and the kid. Gross. The maid, not the kid. Not that I’m into the kid… you see, I’m not really attracted to Austrians.

You do need to appreciate the appropriate dick moves the Obama people make – like raising money with birth certificate T-shirts.

unlike Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid wanted it…

Political Sex — Tue, 17 May 2011 17:01:51 +0000

Body-builder-actor-former-governor-of-California Arnold Schwarzenegger banged his maid 10 years ago and left her the gift that keeps on giving… No, not herpes, well, maybe herpes, there’s no reports that say he didn’t give her herpes; he gave her a baby, from this LA Times story:

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” Schwarzenegger said Monday night in a statement issued to The Times in response to questions. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.

Arnold’s been paying this kid’s child support. Whatever. No one really cares, right. What I want to know is, what did the maid look like? Because if she’s hot. Arnold’s wife Maria should have known better. Shame on you, Maria, putting Arnold in that situation… SHAME!

damn it, now I’m picturing Arnold Schwarzenegger having sex…

Political Sex — Tue, 10 May 2011 19:10:57 +0000

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have decided to not be married anymore. And apparently Maria Shriver has a youtube channel where sometime ago she posted this video about transitions. Coincidence!? I don’t care. What I didn’t realize until I saw it in print, is how fantastic Arnold’s short bio is, from this story:

Shriver, 55, a TV journalist and member of the Kennedy dynasty, and Schwarzenegger, 63, the Austrian-born bodybuilder/action movie hero who became a Republican California governor, have seemed like an unlikely couple since they married in 1986.

His bio reads like a character Steven Seagal would have played in 1992, and boy, would he have played that role poorly… Just two years after Shwitz Volksgang was elected in a landslide victory as California’s governor, where he has successfully battled both sides of the aisle with kung-fu Buddism and hugs, he faces his biggest challenge yet; terrorists have taken over the world’s first high-speed nuclear-powered subway train on it’s maiden trip, but what they don’t know is that California’s governor is on-board, disguised as a Canadian tourist, and he isn’t taking All Aboard for an answer. With an unlikely friendship with a three-foot-tall mole person and Erika Eleniak’s breasts, it’s up to Shwitz to stop the terrorists in their tracks.