February 18, 2010
CafePress is making a ton of dough on “Miss Me Yet” t-shirts and stickers and baby clothes…
“There were no Obama-themed designs on the list,” CafePress spokeswoman Jenna Martin told the Daily News. “Bush has stolen the political spotlight, just like Sarah Palin did the week before when she re-surfaced with crib notes written in her palm.”
That picture is a billboard in Mnnesota. Now, no matter what Obama is and isn’t doing, don’t people remember that President George Bush was a complete fucking idiot? I don’t even care about what he did and didn’t do… he’s a moron. “Miss Me Yet?” Fuck You!
January 4, 2010
Headline from msnbc.com: Obama links jet attack suspect to al-Qaida
I don’t like that headline. They mean that President Obama went public about the suspect being linked to al-Qaida. But how I first read it was that the president actually did the linking. Like he was in the Oval Office and there were a bunch of documents and pictures on his desk, and then the president’s wife Michelle came in and asked if Barack wants to look at some pictures she took. And Barack gets all frustrated and says I’m kind of in the middle of a terrorist attack, but sure, sure, I’ll take a break to look at YOUR pictures, and Michelle just throws them on his desk, “Fuck You!” she says and storms out. Barack shakes his head ‘Stupid woman’ he thinks as he swivels back and forth, then he glances at his desk; something about Michelle’s pictures, they uncovered a document… Where’s that last picture he was looking at… There it is! The answer! How had he missed it! He’s done it, he found the link…
December 17, 2009
President Barack Obama’s approval ratings have dropped quite a bit. And that’s to be expected, bound to happen, the way things go, couldn’t bet against it… who fucking cares! He’s our president for another three years, and you know what, he’ll win again and be our president for another four years after that. So shut the hell up about the job he’s done so far, look ahead and whatever, blah, this sucks. It’s so boring.
If he’s smart, Obama throws all approval polls on the ground and pisses on them, and then bitch-slaps the Aide that brought in the ‘numbers.’ I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to hit you, you know you just make me so frustrated sometimes. Come here, give me a hug, you know daddy loves you right. Good, good.
December 10, 2009
This is the picture I use when talking about peace and President Obama (in case you were wondering, which you probably weren’t, so all this was a waste of time, oh well).
Obama accepted the Nobel Peace prize, today or yesterday or fairly recently, and talked about the necessity of war. That’s funny. This is also funny:
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“I am at the beginning, and not the end, of my labors on the world stage,” the president said. “Compared to some of the giants of history who have received this prize … my accomplishments are slight.”
He knows he doesn’t deserve it. But that’s over a million dollars in the bank for him, so suck on that suckas. It reminds me of the dude in high school that gets picked by everyone to be The Most Likely To Succeed. He seems smart, got good grades, but there’s a solid chance he’s going to get way too into drugs and alcohol in college – because he didn’t do any of that in high school – and he’ll probably knock up the first drunk chick that let’s him bang her and he can’t put on a condom wasted because he’s never put one on sober. He may not drop out of college, but I don’t think that’s what all the alcoholic-drug-addict-slut losers who majored in business and now make bank had in mind when they thought about The Most Likely To Succeed. I was selected Most Awesome. Yes I was! Fuckin’ prove I wasn’t then. No, I don’t have a copy of my yearbook, it was stolen. No, I don’t keep in touch with anyone in high school who could let me borrow it. Why do you want to prove wrong? Damn it, just let me have this one…
December 1, 2009
(why puppies? why the hell not… what you don’t like puppies)
President Obama gave a presidential speech and everyone seems to be surprised that he sounded like a president. The president can’t just go to the press room at the White House and say, “I’m sending more troops to Afghanistan, thank you.” The poor bastard has to fly all the way to West Point (I actually have no idea where West Point is; I just imagine it’s really far from everywhere) and talk for over a half hour about the same war everyone’s been talking about for years. And Obama gets compared to Bush. No shit! It’s not like Bush had bad political minded people and speech writers on his staff – he just sounded like an idiot. Obama probably said, “Alright. What should we say about the war in Afghanistan.” ‘Here you go, sir.’ “Thank you. Okay, let’s see here… uh, there must be some mistake, this is exactly what Bush always said?” ‘Yes, sir.’ “There must be some mistake.” ‘No, sir.’ “Hmm. You know, this is actually pretty good stuff.” ‘Thank you, Mr. President.’ “Oh, yeah… I can work this shit out. Hey, you over there.” ‘Who me?’ “Yeah you, you’re the only one standing over there… bring me some coffee, and take you’re shirt off, bra too.” ’Take my…’ “Take the shit off, bitch… because I’m the president, that’s why!” That’s probably how that meeting went; I wasn’t there so I have to take what I know about people and politics and life, and use my best judgement.
Oh yeah, for all those fucking idiots out there who are mad that Obama is sending more troops to Afghanistan because that’s not what you voted for… that’s exactly what you fucking voted for! Obama said through his entire campaign that he would send more troops to Afghanistan. God damn it I hate people.
November 24, 2009
President Barack Obama is hosting dinner for some important people from India, they call this deal a State Dinner; but the big news is that there are celebrities going… from here:
Who the fuck cares? No, that’s not me saying that; that is a direct quote from the Indian dude… probably. Oh and, of course, because politicians and their dumb-ass people are a bunch of F’n douche bags:
- Guests with ties to India included Deepak Chopra (CHAHP’-ruh), director M. Night Shyamalan (SHAH’-mah-lahn) and CNN Medical Correspondent Sanjay Gupta, Obama’s original choice for the post of U.S. surgeon general.
Oh, that’s nice - make these foreign Indian people feel at home by inviting a couple of people with Indian sounding last names. How embarrassing…
October 22, 2009
Great headline: Men who voted McCain saw testosterone drop: study
Sounds interesting… From this story:
Damn it, I was going to do a bunch of funny comments followed by examples from that story, but it’s actually a lot of copying and pasting that I just figured out I don’t want to do. So, basically men’s testosterone levels naturally drop off at night, and they did this study at night. McCain supporters’ testosterone dropped off a little more than they should while Obama supporters testosterone level’s stayed where they were, acting like an increase; therefore, ladies (gay dudes included) when the person/team your man wants to win wins, get on that – he’s ready to go…. although, my Dodgers just lost I was still able to knock one out last night.
Blah, that post sucked. To make up for it, here’s a picture of a kid with his head between what look like giant yellow testicles:
October 20, 2009
Outspoken ‘liberals’/'progressives’/'who F’n cares’ that consider themselves ”in the know” will tell you that FOX News is destroying this country, because they are distributing ‘lies’ as news… Shut the ‘F’ up – it’s just one channel that less than 1 percent of this country watches. These same people would go down on Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow after they took a bath in sewage. And they do the exact same god damned thing: A Show!
And now the White House is giong after FOX because their Talk Shows are hypercritical of President Obama.
Because… there’s a cable television network whose programming isn’t geared towards making money? Come on! Stupid. What? C-SPAN..? Oh, get the fuck outta here.