Political Sex » Barack Obama

this is just getting embarrassing…

Political Sex — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:56:41 +0000

President Barack Obama has sung a couple of times in public and it’s gotten him some fairly good attention; he comes off charming. Do you remember that kid in high school who would do the exact same thing that another kid did that everyone seemed to like? And all it did was make that first kid look like a dip-shit. Well, ladies and gentlemen I give you Singing Romney. What a dip-shit.

I’m reminded that people don’t really use the term “dip-shit” anymore. That’s too bad.

a “spilled milk” joke, bold choice Mr. President…

Political Sex — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:30:09 +0000

The State of the Union is where the President of the United States has to go in front of Congress and the Senate and be on television to talk about how great of a job he is doing. Which is good. Obama does a terrible job at promoting his successes. But he gives amazing speech.

Except he dropped that stupid “spilled milk” line. By my calculations that cost him 456,789 votes. Really?! Fuck me, that was terrible. That better have been a bet. They put in that crap about milk farmers and that old hokey guy in the room who can’t help but say the terribly obvious joke probably said that line about crying over spilled milk, and later Obama and the younger guys were probably sitting around the Oval Office talking shit on the spilled milk guy and Obama would be all like, “I should say that, in the speech, ha!” And the other guys would be all, ‘Yeah, right, whatever.’ “What, bitch? You don’t think I’d do it?” ‘There’s no fuckin’ way.’ “Oh, I’m gonna do it.”

And that’s how it happened, probably, hopefully.

political ad review: Rick Perry is an idiot…

Political Sex — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 22:17:44 +0000

(sigh) Rick Perry is an idiot…

Let’s break it down:

0:00 – Rick Perry has nice hair for an older guy.

0:08 – Cue the hand.

0:09 – Palm down means gays in the military.

0:11 – Palm up means kids celebrating Christmas.

0:16 – I caught a fish this big.

0:24 – A fist means strong.

The whole point of the ad is to say he’d be the religious President; why’d he need to take a shot at gays serving their country, does he think gay people are all godless heathens? I’m sure some are, but no where near as many straight godless heathens.

political ad review: Newt Gingrich’s America has a lot of wheat…

Political Sex — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:42:08 +0000

Newt Gingrich is a guy who is campaigning to be the Republican nominee for President of the United States. He has some experience, Speaker of the House, and stuff… who really cares? He’s a super conservative guy who’s cheated on his various wives; but then married the chick he cheated on them with – I know, for some reason that makes it better. He released an ad in Iowa – where I think the first caucus is… if you don’t count the one in my pants which is going on right now, hey-oh!

Let’s fuckin’ do this:

0:00 – Wheat

0:04 – Flag (oh, it’s going to be one of those ‘symbols of America’ deals)

0:11 – Shit. Are those the actual Purple Mountains Majesties? This guy means business.

0:13 – That really looks like a job a machine could do much better.

0:17 – She really looks like she can handle a broomstick, cha-ching!

0:22 – A hot chick handling flowers? Nice imagery Newt, you old pervert, you.

0:24 – Damn, that flower chick is really pretty. I bet she was the one with the broom.

0:30 – The next ten seconds or so they’re just matching video to what he’s saying; respect, military; stand strong, Statue of Liberty; faith, church; and so on.

0:36 – Ha! “…respecting one another” as the show men and women going to work together. Stupid.

0:37 – Nice cleavage, red dress. *cough* office slut *cough*

0:40 – What is that, Russia? Probably an Iowa government building or some crap.

0:42 – I think this part was taken from the end of Gladiator, where Russell Crowe’s character joins his dead wife and kid. Because just like the America of the past, the afterlife is full of wheat.

0:50 – Is it me or does Newt Gingrich look like a cartoon frog?

0:58 – Slogan: Rebuilding the America We Love.

It has a bit of David Lynch’s Blue Velvet to it, but other than that this ad couldn’t be more generic and boring. I’m not from Iowa, and I don’t think I’ve ever been there, but I can’t imagine people from Iowa are this lame.

Mitt Romney – the nomination is probably going to Newt or Mitt – is like the mediocre looking chick who makes sure she stands next to her ugliest friend when they’re out at a bar; next to this creepy bastard Mitt looks much more ~~fuckable~~ electable. Although, it doesn’t really matter because Obama will most likely win again.

gun company compares Obama to Hitler, advertises AKs…

Political Sex — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 22:58:47 +0000

Apparently, our country is headed for the annihilation of millions of the population. Who knew, right? And the only way to not have the government kill its citizens is to take advantage of the BURNING HOT DEALS at USA Ammo. Who say that you need to get your guns now because of imminent gun control laws.

Outright gun control laws are stupid. If someone wants a gun to keep in their home to protect their family and big screen TV they should be able to. But they should also be required to do yearly training. And hunting is legal, so people should be able to go hide in a tree and shoot a deer if they want to, I guess. What the fuck has a deer every done for me anyway?

Although, I’m not sure what someone would need a military grade automatic rifle for (even though chicks look hot holding them), and I’m fairly certain the military trains people on them for more than two days.