pregnant Carla Bruni can’t wait to party…

Thursday, 22. September 2011

France’s First Lady Carla Bruni is knocked up, presumably by her husband France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy. And she’s really excited to have the baby. So that she can get drunk and smoke cigarettes. Because seriously, having a baby is such a buzz-kill, from this story:

Miss Bruni, 43, admitted that, after nearly eight months of carrying her first child with President Nicolas Sarkozy, she is ‘totally fed up’.

She said yesterday: ‘Quite frankly, I can’t stand it any more. I spend most of my time either sitting down or lying down. I can’t drink or smoke any more. I’m in a hurry to get it over with.’

This kid is going to turn out great.

confirmed, Carla Bruni had a penis inside her…

Tuesday, 17. May 2011

Supposedly, there has been some speculation in France about whether or not First Lady Carla Bruni is knocked up. She used to be really hot, so it’s nice in a perverted sort of way to know she has sex; like when that hot chick in high school got pregnant, every time I saw her all I could think was, ‘Oh yeah, nice…’ The presumed (people can cheat) father’s dad has confirmed it even though they were keeping it a secret, ha, old people are awesome, and kind of stupid. From this story:

French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s father was quoted by a German newspaper on Tuesday as saying that first lady Carla Bruni is expecting a child, apparently confirming the subject of weeks of speculation.

“The two do not want to know the gender in advance, but I’m sure it will be a girl and as beautiful as Carla,” the mass-selling Bild newspaper quoted Pal Sarkozy as saying.

He’s 56, and she’s 43, hopefully the kid doesn’t come out all jack up. What!? It’s science.

meet the newest hot conservative chick: Carla Bruni…

Monday, 31. January 2011

The French president’s wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, has decided that she is no longer a “lefty,” and now sees herself more politically on the right. From this story:

The supermodel-turned-singer’s reputation as a “luvvie Lefty” has been cited as a major handicap to Mr Sarkozy’s re-election, and her political change of heart is an attempt to boost support for her unpopular husband among his core Right-wing electorate.

Why is she vocally denouncing her previous views? How the hell should I know? I’d ask her if I was allowed to get close enough, or make any contact what-so-ever, or was even allowed in France; it’s crazy, you steal one pair of panties and all of a sudden you’re a “pervert” and a “stalker” and a ” risk to national security.”

poor Carla Bruni…

Thursday, 9. September 2010

Apparently the French First Lady – named Carla Bruni – is an actress… Or was going to be an actress. She was cast to be some random person in a Woody Allen movie starring Ol’ Crook’ Nose McGraw, but now the word is out that Woody Allen thinks she’s way too old to be a random person, because he is replacing her with a younger woman – to which I can only say, Get used to it ladies! From this story:

Now Allen appears to have completed the humiliation by filming all of the scenes using Lea Seydoux, who at 25 is almost two decades younger than Miss Bruni.

Oh Carla, don’t worry what that troll thinks of you; who cares if you’re too old to be in a movie. You’ve still got a lot to offer, probably. If it makes you feel any better you can come over and we can make a movie (wink).

(wink) = Sex. In case that wasn’t clear.

ha, Iran used the ‘whore’ comeback on Carla Bruni…

Monday, 30. August 2010

“Oh yeah… Whore!”

I love Iran. They were about to stone some chick they say committed adultery, whatever; a bunch a people from around the world got pissed about it, so now they’ll probably just hang her – those softies. Well, French First Lady Carla Bruni came out (he-he) in support of this woman and in response to that Iran comes back with, “Whore.” From this story:

Iran’s hardline media have called French first lady Carla Bruni a “prostitute” after she expressed strong support for an Iranian woman facing death by stoning for adultery.

It’s fun watching these countries come into their own; like little kids trying to figure out how to deal with people who disagree with them. Iran seems to be in the name calling stage. They might as well have called her a ‘doo-doo head.’

I take personal offense to this – because like every other straight guy in the world, I would love to have sex with her – and so my response to Iran is, “What’s it like to have such a small dick?” Yeah. Face. Moded. High-five.