Political Sex

The reason I am even talking about this spoiled little bastard - named Jean, which isn’t pronounced how you think it is, because he’s French - is because his dad, the president of France, just appointed him head of France’s premium business district. He’s 23 years old. This is funny – from this story:

• France has been riveted for days by the sudden ascent of the President’s second son, who is repeating his second year of undergraduate law studies.

Whatever, haters; undergraduate law studies is really hard. Especially the second year – it’s not like it’s the first year or something. Anyways, who gives a crap. He’ll probably have the smartest finance guy his father’s goverment can buy telling him how to look smart. He’ll be just fine. Now let’s get to the part we’re all excited about.

This 23-year-old mother-F’er’s stepmom is Carla Bruni (did anyone else hear that Boy-yoy-yong sound effect). I can only imagine.

- Carla, I’d like you to meet my son.

- It’s very nice to meet you, your father has told me so mu… what are you doing?

- Son, what do you think you are doing. Stop that. Zip those pants back up this instant mister.

- Nicolas, do something…

- God damn it Jean, put that away, that’s not what good little boys do.

- Ew, gross, it got on my shoe.

The whole situation makes me feel so wrong inside, but so right also. But that’s because Americans are all raised to be sexually repressed morons. This guy’s probably nailed more hot French tail than you can imagine. Hell, there’s a chance he already had sex with this chick during one of those wild French orgy that happen all the time over there; they do, don’t they? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

This is Carla Bruni, French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s trophy wife… we’ve talk about her before. We like her. She’s on vacation somewhere, whatever, does it matter? She’s a reminder why we should still strive to be presidents of countries… or just rich.

You know… this kind of reminds me of the time I was the leader of a major country, but I didn’t have a smoking hot wife. If I were to do it all over again? Yeah, I’d get a hot wife next time.

More pictures are here www.wwtdd.com

I’d imagine the pressures of being a 54-year-old French president with a hot-young wife are up there on the pressure scale… and not because of the country part, but the hot wife deal has to take it out of you. Look at poor Nicolas Sarkozy – trying to keep his stamina up by jogging – all passed out like a sucka’. He must have had a rough night before this, maybe performance issues? “I swear baby, this has never happened before” “Uh, huh.” “No, really, come on, I’m the F’n president of France, I’ve got a lot of stress.” “Whatever, Obama’s wife always seems to have a smile on HER face.” “I’ll start running again, I just need to get my blood flowing.”

I think I’m safe when I say stuff like that about people who have super secret spy assassins, I’m way the hell over here, with “International Incident” protection; and he’s not going to risk anything to take a chump like me out… but if I was this French reporter, I’d be nervous:

• Piotr Moszynski, a journalist, told France Info radio that he saw the French leader running with his bodyguards… ”He looked really tired and was almost dragging his feet,” Moszynski said. “I said to myself ‘if he wants to show off, it wasn’t very effective.’”

If he wants to show off. Ha. ‘Whoa! Nice track suit Grandpa… Careful, if the ladies see you hobbling by, they may not be able to help themselves. You might need more security. Yeah, man. Hey, is that Brad Pitt. Oh yeah, I think… oh, no, no… it’s some old guy.’ For some reason, in my head, Piotr Moszynski sounds like Cheech Marin.

The horny Frenchman – Nicolas Sarkozy – says Cover Up No More! Ladies, cast off those burqas, cast off repression and let’s get sexy… forget the whole religious traditions thing; freedom of religion is sooooo 18th century. Did France had freedom in religion in the 18th century, probably not. Anyway here’s the Story.

I think burqas are stupid, nothing against people who want to wear them; wear whatever the hell you want. What do I care what you’re wearing. I just think they look stupid, like when guys where sandals with pants. If I was a politically-charged stripper, I would get all my stripper friends, march down the street dressed in burqas, and strip naked (in our sexy stripper way). I’m not exactly sure which side of the issue that would work for, it doesn’t matter, that’s the greatest protest idea EVER.

The real reason Sarkozy want all these women to take their clothes off. He scoured France to find the hottest wife. And he did a phenomenal job *see below* But then he’s probably walking around France seeing all these chicks, fully covered up, and he starts thinking… How could I be so stupid! I left all these stones unturned (little know fact, Sarkozy loves cliches).