Political Sex

This politician – named John Ensign – cheated on his wife with the wife of his deputy chief of staff – not cool. But whatever, he got through it, and was totally forgotten by the entire world. But instead of riding out the rest of his term and just not running, he has to tell everyone and get his name and what he did all over the news again, from this story:

“I just came to the conclusion that I couldn’t put my family through this,” said the Nevada senator, who said that he had “fully planned” to run for re-election until coming to the decision to retire last week.

So, check it: what really went down was his wife told him she doesn’t want everything brought up again during a reelection campaign, see, and so he promised he wouldn’t run again. But you know homeboy doesn’t want to leave office so he’s pissed at his wife, right, so what does he do… he blows that bitch up anyway by announcing that he won’t run for reelection. Yo, that’s cold, dog, yeah, but respect, respect.

I blame his wife’s crazy buff arms. It be like having sex with a featherweight boxer; one of the taller, lankier ones.