Political Sex

If someone suddenly started to shake and flail about, and even if more than one person suddenly started shaking and flailing about at the same time, the majority of people in the US would think that there was a medical issue, or maybe something in the air (or a noise or lights) causing seizures, or maybe even jump to the conclusion that this is one of those flash mobs you hear about on the Internet; hardly anyone would immediately go to the “they’re possessed! We’ve got a devil possession over here!” explanation. But if you’re in Trinidad and Tobago, devil possession would be at the top of the possible issues list. From this story:

A group of female school children who fell mysteriously ill and began rolling on the ground and talking in tongues were ‘possessed by the devil’.

Roman Catholic priests and pastors from nearby churches were called to the school and showered the children with holy water while reciting prayers.

We’re boring. If devil possession was a daily possibility, life would be so much more interesting.

Oh no, I don’t feel good.

What!? Is it the devil?

I don’t know, give me a minute (rips loud fart). No, I think it was gas. I’m okay now.

That sounds like the trickery of the devil.

No, seriously, I’m fine – I just ate really spicy food earlier. It’s passed. You can stop throwing water on me now.

Out! Devil! Leave this vessel!

How does one talk to the devil? This dick makes it sound like you can just call the dude up and chit chat about your soul. I only ask because I might want to sell my soul to get on that chick sitting next to him…

No… of course there would be more to it.

We would be doing it on a bed of 15 Megan Foxes while Pat Robertson is “forced” to watch while hanging upside-down naked getting whipped by a Haitian dwarf in a dwarf-sized devil costume, oh, and Sarah Palin would be sitting cross-legged in a Catholic school girl outfit on top of a pile of money licking a never-ending coating of Cheetos ‘cheese’ from her fingers while waving a tiny flag South Africa. Why South Africa? After all that, that’s your question… pervert.

And I said ‘might,’ okay devil… I’ll call you.