Is the new The Muppets movie a liberal plot to indoctrinate children against “Big Oil?” I don’t know, are little kids that vulnerable to ideological subtext? This must be why I have a hard time trusting Southern restaurant owners? (filmdrunk)
Finally, I’m not alone in feeling that Dr. Pepper is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me. (withleather)
I might actually watch a Republican debate with Donald Trump as the moderator. (nytimes)
How do you know when you’re almost irrelevant as an entertainer… you play the Super Bowl half-time show. (wwtdd)
Another loser with a book. Unless she admits she did it and then explained how in detail, what could this murderer wrongly imprisoned chick possibly fill a whole book with. (tmz)
Donald Trump is not going to run for president. And the country says, “Oh yeah, he was in the news a few weeks ago about that, wasn’t he? Huh. Did you hear Ashton Kutcher is going to be in Two and a Half Men? I know, right? He’s awful.” Anyway, here’s what Trump released today, from this story:
“After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency,” he said in a statement. “This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.”
Basically, NBC told him that he if pretends to run officially, they will recast his role in The Apprentice. That must have felt great for whomever got to tell Trump that; being able to tell that dick-head he’s replaceable would feel as good as hitting a home run in the World Series, or kicking Osama bin Laden’s corpse in the balls.
To get everyone to stop talking about whether or not he has a birth certificate, President Barack Obama finally releases a record of his birth… and now everyone is talking about him releasing his birth certificate. From this story:
“Over the last two and a half years I have watched with bemusement, I’ve been puzzled at the degree to which this thing just kept on going,” said the president
Donald Trump is doing exactly what he should be doing as the terrific jack-ass that he knows he is: taking credit for making the president finally release it. And now Donald is questioning Obama’s school records – the guy’s a genius, he probably has a list of every bull-shit issue anyone could every raise about a president, knowing that because he’s a ‘celebrity’ he’ll get a lot of media attention. And because liberals, especially liberals in the media, are idiots who can’t grasp the concept of entertainment, so instead of laughing with Trump they’re asking him serious questions, thinking they’ll debunk him. You can’t debunk someone who knows and celebrates their bunkness.
*I just invented that word – “bunkness” – I think it’s got legs.
Donald Trump is some rich guy who owns buildings and has a television show where celebrities pretend they want to work for him. Apparently, he plans on running for President of the United States. His Platform? Current President Barack Obama not actually being a citizen, so shouldn’t be president anyway. Genius! Take the one issue that everyone says you are crazy if you believe and run with it. This is the kind of politician we need; someone not afraid to just say the wackiest, nuttiest things. And by “we” I mean people with websites dedicated to making fun of politicians.
Former Miss California and shamed Miss America contestant Carrie Prejean wrote a book laying out how she’s going to take over the world, in six easy steps… whatever, it could be about that, no one really cares. People might actually buy it if it was about that.
I don’t even know why the is Political Sex worthy; she’s a hot ultra-conservative chick with fake tits who made a tape of herself masturbating when she was 17 years old and sent it to her boyfriend - and that’s probably why she dropped her lawsuit against the Miss America Pageant and Donald Trump. Good enough for you!? Get off my back, jeez! I’m still trying to figure it all out, find my place on the World Wide Web.
And if you’re looking for the video – give it up, she was 17! Not going to happenAwesome Update!
