When did being President mean you had to be able to deliver jokes; is that part of the job now, being able to blast other politicians, or pundits (whatever those are) – President Obama can’t get through one speech without some dumb-ass joke/rip on Conservatives, which who cares, except they’re hardly ever funny and always divisive. When politicians deliver a line it sounds forced and presumptuous. Michele Bachmann is campaigning to be the Republican nominee for the President of the United States. And she’s getting strung up because she made a joke about earthquakes and hurricanes being God talking to politicians in Washington D.C. or whatever.
She says it was just a joke. And it clearly was; and it actually wasn’t too bad. Wasn’t great. This isn’t the same thing as those dip-shits who say homosexuals cause earthquakes. This is why politicians shouldn’t try to be funny. Ask any comedian, or anyone who makes a living trying to make people laugh, and they’ll say that the best way to get everyone to not hate you is by never telling a joke, ever. Because some overly sensitive dullard will take something the wrong way, and people who already hate you are looking for examples to prove to others they should hate you too.
I wish we all still lived in fear of a God’s wrath. Earthquake – Oh, no! What did we do, we’re sorry God, I saw John kissed Bill, that must be it, it’s the gays! We won’t support the gays, just stop shaking the ground. Hurricane – A hurricane’s coming, now what did we do, our budget isn’t balanced… mine actually is, but the people we elected can’t agree!! Oh, God, we’re sorry. Please send us a divine accountant… Slight breeze – Ah, come on God! She had a hot ass, what’d you expect me to think…
A cleric – which is some kind of religious person – in Iran has finally said it… sluts cause earthquakes! From this story:
Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi’s comments follow a warning by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit the capital Tehran and that many residents should relocate.
In a prayer sermon, the cleric said: ‘Many women who do not dress modestly… lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes.’
Awesome logic; this guy has a great job. Iran, especially Tehran, sits on all kinds of faults, has a good amount of smaller quakes and is bound to have a giant earthquake someday. I wish I was some kind of ‘magic man’ in that region – if you do not behave the way I want God will shake the earth… wait for it, wait for it… feel that? Yeah, see, earthquake for God!
I’ve tried that where I live, in San Francisco; What’s up ladies… if you do not have a threeway with me God will shake the earth… Unfortunately, San Francisco is a god-less town full of intelligent chicks, so instead of a three-way I got a two-hour lecture on plate tectonics.
And dude, I think that Iranian chick in the picture is hot. She’s rebelling by showing some hair, and wearing a tight scarf – risking torture and death for the right to not have to completely cover up and get her clitoris cut off. It’s so much hotter than some pale American chicks walking down the street topless to protest a double standard. Boo-F’n-Hoo, put your clothes on and try to do something that matters. What are you trying to do, cause an earthquake or something..?
Earthquake in Haiti kills thousands… well, that’s not exactly true; thousands die after an earthquake in Haiti. Yeah, it was a massive, huge, awesomely intense earthquake, but if that happens here hundreds die, not thousands. Yep, just as I expected: thousands dying in Haiti is not funny at all. Oh well. Hmm. Here’s the retarded chicken from Family Guy…
