This guy Chris Christie is the Governor of New Jersey and has continually told his national supporters that he will not be running for President in 2012. And when I say continually I mean ever time he was in front of a microphone for the last year – the last time being last Tuesday during a speech at the Reagan Library; but now he’s seriously contemplating it, from this story:
The renewed consideration about a White House run came after prodding this week from some Republicans he idolizes, including former First Lady Nancy Reagan, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, and former President George W. Bush, sources said.
So, a group of popular kids have convinced the fat, geeky kid that he should run for Senior Class President, telling him he could win because of he would get all the geeks who don’t want the cool jock – who everyone thinks is a shoo-in – to win.
*Easy racist hunters, I didn’t allude to Barack Obama being a jock because he’s black, with the stereotype about black people and sports; it’s a decent analogy, and Obama plays basketball. So, leave me alone, dicks.
Chicago’s mayor is sick of looking at all the disgusting fat people that he has to work around, and wants them to either get healthy or pay. He didn’t say that exactly, but he might as well have, from this story:
The Emanuel administration estimates that only 6 to 8 percent of city workers — including smokers, those overweight or suffering chronic illnesses — drive two-thirds of the cost of Chicago’s healthcare budget. Under the wellness program, employees will have choice: either join it or pay $50 a month more in premiums.
So that’s $600 a year to be lazy and able to do what you want… totally worth it. None of this would be necessary if we could just go back to the old ways of controlling obesity, ridicule and humiliation.
The Governor of New Jersey - named Chris Christie - seems to be a favorite amongst conservatives and Republicans, and think he’d be a good candidate for President. In response he said, Chomp, chomp, slurp, FOOD good, no President, chompity, chomp chomp. I paraphrased, from this story:
“You have to feel it in your heart and mind that you’re ready” for the White House, Christie said, adding that he believes there will be Republicans who run for president next year because the fight for the GOP nomination appears to be wide open.
“I’m not stupid,” Christie said. “I see the opportunity (but) that’s not the reason to run.”
There’s no way America votes in a fat President. Chicks don’t buy magazines with fat people on the cover and guys don’t jerk off to fat chicks online, well, unless you’ve really run through all the porn and are just looking for something kind of new, you know, different… uh, so I’ve been told by guys who aren’t bangin’ a different hot chick every night. Boo-Ya! You know what I’m sayin’? Yeah, that’s right. I think you know what I’m sayin’.
Some moronic study was conducted where they concluded that kids are fat because they had a cold; or something like that. From this story:
Children who showed signs of infection with adenovirus 36 (AD36), a common cause of some colds and eye infections, were an average of 50 pounds heavier than those who had no antibodies to the virus.
Fifty pounds heavier? Because they had a cold; not because they’re so fat and lazy and unhealthy that they get sick all the time. No, it must be the cold that caused them to be fat. So, there you have it: if your kid gets a cold you can forget about them being fit. It’s too late for them. You might as well just keep giving them ice cream and candy, and let them play video games all day long.
Oh, and by-the-by Genius, spellcheck doesn’t recognize “adenovirus.” Nice try. Thank you spellcheck for saving me from being played a fool once again. Adenovirus… I can’t believe I almost fell for that.
I guess there’s an election for who’s going to be the next governor of New Jersey… (shrug) I know, who cares, right. But of course the Political Sex offices were all a-buzz at the opportunity to talk about fat people came up. When a fat person is involved, a non-story like the New Jersey gubernatorial race becomes newsworthy. That ad is from the incumbent (that means the person who already holds the office) Governor Jon Corzine about the fat challenger – named Chris Christie – and how fat he is… Or at least that’s what everyone is saying; like this Corzine schmuck came up with the phrase about people throwing their weight around. I’m sure there’s other stuff too, I don’t really care enough to check.
Christie went on Don Imus’ radio show and made fun of himself for being fat. Which, as a fat person, is his only play here. I guess he could have said he has a glandular problem, but no one likes fat people who say that, whether it’s true or not. And 99.9% of the time it’s not, from this story:
Christie also told radio personality Don Imus he’ll be “a big, fat winner” on Election Day.
I get a little sad when fat people make fun of themselves to differ ridicule, because you know they probably get really depressed every time they look at their fat bodies in the mirror… but it’s not like a real sad; it’s like how I feel sad when I see a family on the side of a highway, car broken down in the middle of nowhere. I’m in no way affected, at all. But I do feel a little sad for them. Stop and help? What! You do?
