Poor American spies hikers have negotiation expert Hillary Clinton looking out for them… so I’m sure they’ll be home soon; from this story:

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Wednesday “there are no negotiations taking place” between Washington and Iran on the idea of exchanging three U.S. hikers held in Iran for Iranians being held in the U.S.The idea was floated by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a television interview, but Clinton said: “It is hard to know what the Iranian president meant” by his remark.

Ahmadinejad is a god damned wacko, but I really think that when he said they would exchange Iranian prisoners we’ve got with the American prisoners they’ve got, he meant they would exchange Iranian prisoners we’ve got with the American prisoners they’ve got. Clinton said,”It is hard to know what the Iranian president meant” by his remark. Really!?

I don’t think we should even have to be in this situation, if these jerks are really hikers, which I’m sure they are… they probably told all their douche-bag friends that the Iraqis and Iranians are a kind and peaceful people and the governments are misunderstood; and then they went hiking along the boarder of Iraq and Iran. It was also reported that they were on their way to go skydiving, but they were going to throw their parachutes out of the plane, count to five and jump… would they have caught up to their chutes with enough time to put them on and pull the cord? I guess we’ll never know… especially with Hillary Clinton negotiating their release.

Iran: Fine, here take the stupid hikers.

Clinton: Hmm… But what do they mean by that.

Iran: No, really, we don’t want them here, take them, please.

Clinton: Is this some kind of trick?

Iran: Come on, you stupid bitch! Take the prisoners, or we will shoot them.

Clinton: Oh, okay, we’ll take them… Ah, wait… ha, you almost had me. Tricky Iran. No, no, I wasn’t born yesterday. I can read between the line. Yeah, go ahead and shoot them.

Iran says these three Americans are spies… probably not, but how the hell would I know. They could be spies. They might be the greatest spies in the history of spydom. I would be highly disappointed if that were the case. Spies should be cool, and not smell bad. I just assume they smell terrible, and like their own stink because it’s natural. From this story:

• Shane Bauer, 27, Sarah Shourd, 31, and Josh Fattal, 27, were arrested in July as they walked through mountainous terrain between the Iraqi and Iranian Kurdish areas where the border is not clearly marked.
• “The three are charged with espionage,” the Tehran general prosecutor, Abbas Jafari Dolatabadi, was quoted as saying. “Investigations continue into the three detained Americans in Iran.”

The chick one might be kind of hot with a little make up and deodorant (alright, a lot of deodorant). And I’m sure one or both of those douche bags was hittin’ it, I didn’t really get into the details of these idiots lives. Three Americans hiking along the border of Iraq and Iran would be like my white-ass walking along the border of the worst part of Oakland and a pack of blood hungry bears with a sign around my neck that says ‘I Hate Black People… and Bears.’

Future Political Sex post to watch for – three losers with a book…Yeah, don’t worry, they’ll most likely be released and then have the chance to be famous authors – unless they continue their aversion to deodorant. Just use it! No one likes your stupid natural smell. Fuck!