That Anthony Weiner guy who’s been denying he sent a picture of his penis in underwear to a college chick in Seattle has now admitted that he lied, and he did indeed send the picture and it was indeed his penis; he cries in the press conference – that’s always fun to watch. And, of course, this wasn’t the only time he sent inappropriate photos to a random woman online, from this story:
The announcement came as ABC News prepared to release an interview with Meagan Broussard, a 26-year-old single mother from Texas who provided dozens of photos, emails, Facebook messages and cell phone call logs that she says chronicle a sexually-charged electronic relationship with Weiner that rapidly-evolved for more than a month, starting on April 20, 2011.
There’s really only one person to blame here, Anthony Weiner’s wife – named Huma Abedin – who is one of Hillary Clinton’s aides. You can only imagine what kind of man-hating energy that chick is bringing home from work.
Oh yeah… it’s come to this. The Clintons are as desperate as a 15-year-old Russian runaway – time to get a-whorin’… That’s right Hillary Clinton ran for president, and she ran hard and ran rough and ran up a huge debt. The answer, she puts her bottom-bitch on the corner and says don’t come back until you’ve got my money… Yes, I just called a former president his wife’s bottom-bitch. From this story:
[Bill Clinton] is raffling himself. In an e-mail sent to millions of people who supported Hillary Clinton’s White House campaign, the former President asks: “How would you like the chance to come up to New York and spend the day with me?” For those who would like the One-Day-With-Bill prize, an online donation of as little as $5 will buy them the chance.
Hahaha. These mother-fuckers are so god-damn rich it makes me want to become their daughter’s best guy-friend who convinces her that her husband is treating her wrong and probably cheating on her, and then we’ll get drunk one night on margaritas and after a good cry we’ll end up hugging and then we’ll look in each other’s eyes, and then it will just happen… sex - but of course I’ll have a camera recording the whole thing; which give me options: option one, she leaves her husband for me and I become the biggest mooch of a husband that I possibly can; option two, she doesn’t leave her husband and I sell the sex-tape to the highest bidder, with a percentage on sales of course. What was I talking about? How the fuck would I know how the Clinton’s are going to pay off their debts? I’m banging Chelsea over here, leave me alone… and shut the door, if you want to watch you’ll have to buy the tape.
President Bill Clinton was hospitalized today for something to do with his heart…
“Today President Bill Clinton was admitted to the Columbia Campus of New York Presbyterian Hospital after feeling discomfort in his chest,” adviser Doug Band said in a statement. “Following a visit to his cardiologist, he underwent a procedure to place two stents in one of his coronary arteries.”
I don’t like that I read the whole story. I was all set to assume he was banging some young chick which then resulted in chest pains. But no! He hadn’t been feeling well for a few days, so he went to the doctors, and the doctors said he need two stents. I haven’t been this disappointed in Bill since I heard he nailed some White House intern and then saw a picture of Monica Lewinski.
I like how the douche bags at ABC reported:
Sources on Capital Hill tell ABC News that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was seen leaving the Oval Office a short time ago and did not seem “too concerned” or “in a rush.”
North Korea took some shots at Hillary Clinton while hanging out in Phucket, Thailand. They’re all there for some meeting crap where Hil already called them ‘unruly children.’ I’m not some super diplomat or anything, but I’m pretty sure countries don’t get embarrassed and change.
Hillary: You’re acting like a child.
North Korea: What.
Hillary: Yeah, that’s right, an unruly child.
North Korea: No I’m not.
Hillary: Yeah you are. Hey everyone, look a North Korea, acting like a wittle baby.
North Korea: Uh-uh. No I’m not. I’m not a baby.
Hillary: Oh yeah, I don’t know…
North Korea: No seriously. I don’t even want nukes anymore, here, take them. See. See… a baby wouldn’t give up being a nuclear power.
So, actually, North Korea got a little mad at Hillary and like an unruly child they made fun of her. From this story.
“she is by no means intelligent.”
“Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”
Pensioner going shopping? Ha. Oh no you di’n't. Oh it’s broughten. As long as they don’t bomb a bunch of people, I love North Korea. They’re kind of stealing the show. If this were a movie, everyone would go to the theater to see the United States, but when people walked out they’d be talking about North Korea.
I think Hillary Clinton might be a lesbian. I think this because she broke her elbow – one day before doing an event with Angelina Jolie. Hillary just fell while walking to the White House. The only explanation is that she was day-dreaming about Angelina. If I knew I’d be hanging out with Angelina Jolie in 24 hours, I’d unknowingly walk off a cliff. But I wouldn’t fall, not at first. Not until I realized I’d walked like six or seven steps off the edge. Then I’d hold up my ‘Yikes’ sign. And then I’d fall.
This Hillary thing reminds me of something. Do you remember that commercial where kids are playing football and the girl is getting hurt, so she stuffs her clothes with toilet paper. Or did I just make that up, because if I did that’s really, really good.
