No pressure. Ha. Fantastic. This video is from some group called 10:10, which is some sort of climate change activist group that wants everyone to reduce their emissions. Basically, they just made me want to take a dump on a baby polar bear while drinking high-fructose corn syrup out of a Styrofoam bucket and keeping warm by a burning pile of recyclable water bottles.
This is why no one takes these causes serious; the people who are the most vocal about it are fucking idiots.
Oh really! You think! Who the ‘F’ suckered people into funding this study… ‘So, you want to do a study to see how surviving the Holocaust affected people?’ “Uh, yeah.” ‘And your hypothesis is?’ “Um, it made them depressed.” ‘Hmm, really? Yeah, you should find out, here’s some money’
2 weeks later…
‘Wow the study is over already?’ “Yeah.” ‘How did it go… Is that a new car?’ “Yeah, I got a new car.” ‘Nice, so how did the study… Is that a new watch?’ “Yeah, I got a new watch too.” ‘Okay, looks good on you, what did you find out… Is that a hooker in your car?’ “Yeah, the clock’s been running for two weeks now, I actually need to be getting her back.” ‘Oh, okay, but wait, what did you find out… about the Holocaust survivors?’ “What? Oh, what the fuck do you think, they’re DEPRESSED, it was the fucking Holocaust. Thanks for the money! Suckas!”
This idiot, whose name I can only assume doesn’t matter to anyone (and I mean anyone), is some American politician who represents some people somewhere. Whatever, she’s an idiot. From this story:
Irritated by loud commercials, Rep. —- ——, D-Calif., drafted the measure after discovering it was a common complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.
This asshole was so pissed about the sound levels of commercials in the programs she likes that she decided to ‘look into this,’ and then discovers something shocking, other people don’t like abrupt changes in volume either. And the more she dug into it, she found this is a god damn epidemic being experienced by everyone in America. People – probably real nice, patient human beings, I’m sure - have even complained to the FCC! Well, there it is, it’s time for a change.
Just to break it down a little tech-wise; the noticably-worse-quality local commercials are run independently from the shows, by different people, and the people who create the network commercials are different than the people who create the shows, and no one’s even sniffin’ the people who are running the stuff before it finally makes it to your TV - and these people, who are probably just getting paid just over minimum wage to toggle a switch here and there don’t have every sound level of every commercial memorized, and yes, they should all be normalized at the same level, but hey, guess what, they’re made by different people, with different equipment, who have learned what is the appropriate sound levels differently. So, I’m sorry, yes, you’re commercials are going to be a little louder than the show.
The worst part is that this idiot politician and most of the people who have complained to the FCC probably think this is some sort of conspiracy by advertisers to force their message on their audience victims. You want better consistency? Get rid of the DVR, this will expose more people to the products, they’ll go buy the products, the advertisers will buy more time, for more money, and the people who mix all the stuff together will get paid more, and therefore the jobs will be more in demand, so the people doing it will take it more seriously. But no. Let’s get the government involved to force broadcasters to payout money they barely have, so they’ll have to fire more people, so your commercials sound more like your shows… fucking idiot. I’m sorry you have to use your remote control more. How annoying for you. Wow, this is an F’ing waste of time.
Some experts have said they are unsure whether viewers will notice much difference if the bills become law. Different volume levels can be part of storytelling. And some commercials may just seem noisy because they follow a quiet, intense scene.
(why puppies? why the hell not… what you don’t like puppies)
President Obama gave a presidential speech and everyone seems to be surprised that he sounded like a president. The president can’t just go to the press room at the White House and say, “I’m sending more troops to Afghanistan, thank you.” The poor bastard has to fly all the way to West Point (I actually have no idea where West Point is; I just imagine it’s really far from everywhere) and talk for over a half hour about the same war everyone’s been talking about for years. And Obama gets compared to Bush. No shit! It’s not like Bush had bad political minded people and speech writers on his staff – he just sounded like an idiot. Obama probably said, “Alright. What should we say about the war in Afghanistan.” ‘Here you go, sir.’ “Thank you. Okay, let’s see here… uh, there must be some mistake, this is exactly what Bush always said?” ‘Yes, sir.’ “There must be some mistake.” ‘No, sir.’ “Hmm. You know, this is actually pretty good stuff.” ‘Thank you, Mr. President.’ “Oh, yeah… I can work this shit out. Hey, you over there.” ‘Who me?’ “Yeah you, you’re the only one standing over there… bring me some coffee, and take you’re shirt off, bra too.” ’Take my…’ “Take the shit off, bitch… because I’m the president, that’s why!” That’s probably how that meeting went; I wasn’t there so I have to take what I know about people and politics and life, and use my best judgement.
Oh yeah, for all those fucking idiots out there who are mad that Obama is sending more troops to Afghanistan because that’s not what you voted for… that’s exactly what you fucking voted for! Obama said through his entire campaign that he would send more troops to Afghanistan. God damn it I hate people.
Please read this in your best ‘America’s Most Wanted’ mind voice…
A vegan group call Mercy for Animals (real original guys, way to think about it for 20 seconds) has infiltrated a chicken hatchery to expose the rotten, horrifying truth about how baby chickens, otherwise known as chicks, are treated. A Mercy for Animals (or MFA as I am calling them to try to make them sound a little less douchey) operative got a job at the hatchery. Oh, so sneaky. And then, the MFA operative shot video of chicks being handled roughly and the male chicks being dropped into the Grinder because male chicks are not worth anything, the Grinder being what everyone has deemed the quickest way to euthanize them. The MFA also found out something else, around 200 million male chicks are euthanized each year. How did they manage to uncover such an awful truth… well all they had to do was call the The United Egg Producers, because it seems to be something that is fairly well known in the chicken and egg world and not being covered up at all. When the readily available information made its way to the media, The United Egg Producers were confronted about this terrifying reality, to which they responded:
“There is, unfortunately, no way to breed eggs that only produce female hens,” said the group’s spokesman, Mitch Head. “If someone has a need for 200 million male chicks, we’re happy to provide them to anyone who wants them.”
And there you have it. There is evil all around us, thank goodness we have groups like the MFA doing absolutely nothing of any consequence what so ever. Well done lads, well done.
You can go back to your normal mind voice now.
I watched the video, it kind of sucks, little chicks are pretty cute. But the only reason I even read the story about it is because I thought it was some cool horror movie teaser… Video Shows Chicks Ground Up Alive.Oh well, I like eating chickens, nothing’s going to change that… except if I meet some hot vegan chick and she’s like, “I don’t understand how people can eat another living creature.” And I’d be all, “I know, it’s so unnecessary. You know what we should do?” And she’s say, “What?” And then I’d say, “We should infiltrate one of those hatcheries and expose them for the monsters they are!” She’d probably say, “You would do that, that would be so amazing.” I’d stare off into the distance, as though I was imagining victory, “Yes, I’ll do it. But first, tonight, let’s drink to all the poor, innocent creatures of the world.” And then we’d have some sex. Damn, the worst thing about all this is that would probably work. Chicks are stupid, but at least they’re not male chicks, ’cause then they’d be dead.
I was going to post the video of the chicks, but then I thought, what’s better than watching chickens get put to death… oh I know, watching them dance. Enjoy.
For all you sick bastards out there, here’s the MFA video.
