“Oh yeah… Whore!”

I love Iran. They were about to stone some chick they say committed adultery, whatever; a bunch a people from around the world got pissed about it, so now they’ll probably just hang her – those softies. Well, French First Lady Carla Bruni came out (he-he) in support of this woman and in response to that Iran comes back with, “Whore.” From this story:

Iran’s hardline media have called French first lady Carla Bruni a “prostitute” after she expressed strong support for an Iranian woman facing death by stoning for adultery.

It’s fun watching these countries come into their own; like little kids trying to figure out how to deal with people who disagree with them. Iran seems to be in the name calling stage. They might as well have called her a ‘doo-doo head.’

I take personal offense to this – because like every other straight guy in the world, I would love to have sex with her – and so my response to Iran is, “What’s it like to have such a small dick?” Yeah. Face. Moded. High-five.

This is a woman from Iran - named Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani – who has been found guilty of letting a man from Iran kill her husband, which also means she was found not-guilty of being the person who actually killed him. She got sentenced to death by stoning… the actual murderer gets to live. Ah, Iran; a great place to be a man. I think that’s the country’s actual slogan. From this story:

A lawyer for an Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning has told a British newspaper she was tortured for two days before confessing on state TV to being an accomplice to her husband’s death.

That story also says she had another lawyer, but he fled to Norway because the government issued an arrest warrant for him, and have detained his wife (she will probably be stoned to death next).

But wait! After international out-cry to the idea of a death by stoning the compassionate government in Iran has instead decided to hang her to death. The big softies.

Ah, Iran. A Great Place to be a Man.

*They actually have that slogan on a poster of a cat hanging from a tree branch.

A cleric – which is some kind of religious person – in Iran has finally said it… sluts cause earthquakes! From this story:

Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi’s comments follow a warning by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit the capital Tehran and that many residents should relocate.

In a prayer sermon, the cleric said: ‘Many women who do not dress modestly… lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes.’

Awesome logic; this guy has a great job. Iran, especially Tehran, sits on all kinds of faults, has a good amount of smaller quakes and is bound to have a giant earthquake someday. I wish I was some kind of ‘magic man’ in that region – if you do not behave the way I want God will shake the earth… wait for it, wait for it… feel that? Yeah, see, earthquake for God!

I’ve tried that where I live, in San Francisco; What’s up ladies… if you do not have a threeway with me God will shake the earth… Unfortunately, San Francisco is a god-less town full of intelligent chicks, so instead of a three-way I got a two-hour lecture on plate tectonics.

And dude, I think that Iranian chick in the picture is hot. She’s rebelling by showing some hair, and wearing a tight scarf – risking torture and death for the right to not have to completely cover up and get her clitoris cut off. It’s so much hotter than some pale American chicks walking down the street topless to protest a double standard. Boo-F’n-Hoo, put your clothes on and try to do something that matters. What are you trying to do, cause an earthquake or something..?

Iran says these three Americans are spies… probably not, but how the hell would I know. They could be spies. They might be the greatest spies in the history of spydom. I would be highly disappointed if that were the case. Spies should be cool, and not smell bad. I just assume they smell terrible, and like their own stink because it’s natural. From this story:

• Shane Bauer, 27, Sarah Shourd, 31, and Josh Fattal, 27, were arrested in July as they walked through mountainous terrain between the Iraqi and Iranian Kurdish areas where the border is not clearly marked.
• “The three are charged with espionage,” the Tehran general prosecutor, Abbas Jafari Dolatabadi, was quoted as saying. “Investigations continue into the three detained Americans in Iran.”

The chick one might be kind of hot with a little make up and deodorant (alright, a lot of deodorant). And I’m sure one or both of those douche bags was hittin’ it, I didn’t really get into the details of these idiots lives. Three Americans hiking along the border of Iraq and Iran would be like my white-ass walking along the border of the worst part of Oakland and a pack of blood hungry bears with a sign around my neck that says ‘I Hate Black People… and Bears.’

Future Political Sex post to watch for – three losers with a book…Yeah, don’t worry, they’ll most likely be released and then have the chance to be famous authors – unless they continue their aversion to deodorant. Just use it! No one likes your stupid natural smell. Fuck!