Please read this in your best ‘America’s Most Wanted’ mind voice…

A vegan group call Mercy for Animals (real original guys, way to think about it for 20 seconds) has infiltrated a chicken hatchery to expose the rotten, horrifying truth about how baby chickens, otherwise known as chicks, are treated. A Mercy for Animals (or MFA as I am calling them to try to make them sound a little less douchey) operative got a job at the hatchery. Oh, so sneaky. And then, the MFA operative shot video of chicks being handled roughly and the male chicks being dropped into the Grinder because male chicks are not worth anything, the Grinder being what everyone has deemed the quickest way to euthanize them. The MFA also found out something else, around 200 million male chicks are euthanized each year. How did they manage to uncover such an awful truth… well all they had to do was call the The United Egg Producers, because it seems to be something that is fairly well known in the chicken and egg world and not being covered up at all. When the readily available information made its way to the media, The United Egg Producers were confronted about this terrifying reality, to which they responded:

• “There is, unfortunately, no way to breed eggs that only produce female hens,” said the group’s spokesman, Mitch Head. “If someone has a need for 200 million male chicks, we’re happy to provide them to anyone who wants them.”

And there you have it. There is evil all around us, thank goodness we have groups like the MFA doing absolutely nothing of any consequence what so ever. Well done lads, well done.

You can go back to your normal mind voice now.

I watched the video, it kind of sucks, little chicks are pretty cute. But the only reason I even read the story about it is because I thought it was some cool horror movie teaser… Video Shows Chicks Ground Up Alive. Oh well, I like eating chickens, nothing’s going to change that… except if I meet some hot vegan chick and she’s like, “I don’t understand how people can eat another living creature.” And I’d be all, “I know, it’s so unnecessary. You know what we should do?” And she’s say, “What?” And then I’d say, “We should infiltrate one of those hatcheries and expose them for the monsters they are!” She’d probably say, “You would do that, that would be so amazing.” I’d stare off into the distance, as though I was imagining victory, “Yes, I’ll do it. But first, tonight, let’s drink to all the poor, innocent creatures of the world.” And then we’d have some sex. Damn, the worst thing about all this is that would probably work. Chicks are stupid, but at least they’re not male chicks, ’cause then they’d be dead.

I was going to post the video of the chicks, but then I thought, what’s better than watching chickens get put to death… oh I know, watching them dance. Enjoy.

For all you sick bastards out there, here’s the MFA video.