Are you aware, or even care, about this Occupy Wall Street deal? If you want to protest, then protest. What do I care? Just try not to look like a douche-bag while you do it; leave your shirt on, don’t dress up like zombies, don’t chant, don’t get violent; just march, or sit-in. And don’t do this, from this story:
On Saturday, more than 700 protesters were arrested for blocking the Brooklyn Bridge.
I live in San Francisco, so protests mean as much to me as a bunch of out-of-towners on a Segway Tour – happens daily and annoyingly affects traffic. The worst thing protesters can do for their cause is fuck up someone’s commute. You’ll turn the most sympathetic suburban soccer mom into your eternal, outspoken enemy if you make her late to the show she was coming into the city to see.
So, I guess some rich French guy – named Dominique Strauss-Kahn – allegedly tried to rape a hotel maid in New York over the weekend. Not cool bro… And the “but Kobe did it” excuse is not going to fly. From this story:
Mr. Strauss-Kahn, 62, was arrested on charges of attempted rape and illegal imprisonment of a chambermaid in a French-owned hotel in midtown Manhattan, the Sofitel, and was arraigned on Monday in New York.
This guy was also planning on being France’s next president – which seems highly presumptuous; but that isn’t something you’ll need to worry about now, is it Mr. Strauss-Kahn? Just a little political advice for anyone out there who wants to be president of a country some day: don’t rape people. I know, I know… easier said than done.
And… allegedly this guy tried to rape some chick nine years ago, from this story:
Tristane Banon previously described the attack, which happened when she was in her early 20s, in a television programme in 2007, when she called Strauss-Kahn, whose name was bleeped out, a “rutting chimpanzee.”
She says she consulted a lawyer at the time, but was persuaded not to take action by her mother, a regional councillor in the Socialist party and friend of the Strauss-Kahn family. Banon is goddaughter to Strauss-Kahn’s second wife.
I think this is the program they’re referring to… don’t draw any conclusions by this statement, but she is smokin’ hot:
Transgender people in New York are pissed off because they are not allowed to get their sex listed on their birth certificate changed to the sex they feel they are without having the right aesthetic parts; from this story:
New York’s Health Department requires residents to show proof of surgical procedures in order to change the gender status on a birth certificate.
But the lawsuit, filed by the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund in state Supreme Court on behalf of three residents, said many transgender people cannot afford the surgical procedures.
And the big problem seems to be they can’t get “usable” identification. And I totally get this, because last Halloween I wore a bunny costume – which was awesome, because it would seem that hot chicks dressed like sluts are physically unable to not hug a giant bunny – and when I tried to get into a bar, the bouncer looked at my ID, and then looked at me, then looked back at the ID, then back at me…
Bouncer: Do you think I’m stupid or something?
Me: What do you mean?
Bouncer: This isn’t you…
Me: What’s not me, my license? Of course that’s me.
Bouncer: Come on, what do you take me for. You are a bunny rabbit.
Me: I know I look a little different than the picture, but it’s clearly a real ID. That’s me.
Bouncer: Nope, you have bunny rabbit ears, and whoever’s ID this is does not. Move on Hopper.
The FBI made the biggest mafia bust ever this week, arresting over 100 mobsters. What does that mean to you and me? We get a list of funny mob names. From this story:
The Mafia are known for using colourful nicknames and among those accused are monikers such as ‘Tony Bagels’, ‘Johnny Pizza’, ‘The Bull’, ‘Meatball’, ‘Jack The Whack’ ‘Junior Lollipops’ ‘Bobby Glasses’, ‘Vinny Carwash’ and ‘Lumpy’.
Was there a Lollipops? There was also ”Mush,” “The Claw,” “Fat Dennis,” and the winner: “Big Anthony.” I imagine standing there when the nicknames are being given out. Okay, you will now be known as… Meatball, and you… uh, Vinny Carwash, oh you think that’s funny? Everyone say hello to Junior Lollipops. Let’s see, what should we call you, hmm, I don’t know, your name’s Anthony, right? Hell, we’ll just call you Big Anthony…. Yes! What was that? Nothing, nothing, thank you.
Meet Jimmy McMillan, the candidate for governor of New York under the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. This must have been the most entertaining and the most worthless debate in political history.
