Political Sex

So I guess Carla Bruni was in London with her president of France husband who’s really only worth talking about because he married a hot French model – and while there she hung out with the English prime minister’s wife. Look it doesn’t matter, she looks fucking unbelievable. And she’s getting up there age-wise. For more pictures go to OK.

The story says the two broads became BFFs. Which reminded me about my BFF, and I thought long and hard about my BFF, and then I realized I don’t know what the hell a BFF is; in porn terms it would mean Bear-Female-Female. That sounds dangerous. I’d have to watch it through cracks between my fingers.

As far as I know, models are perfect… in every possible way. Although my ‘perfect’ might be different from a politician’s ‘perfect’ when it comes to wives. Take Nicolas Sarkozy, the president of France, who married model Carla Bruni. She looks fantastic standing next to him – even though she makes him look like a hobbit as she towers over him, but like any guy banging a model he can tell anyone who makes fun of him for being shorter then his lady to go fuck themselves ‘I’m bangin’ a model, dude.’

But going back to my perfect versus a president’s perfect… My perfect = a sexed up, sex crazed, sex maniac who only thinks of one thing… Sex. This may cause a bit of a headache with a public official. From this story:

According to a forthcoming book obtained by ABC News, French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy once told U.S. counterpart Michelle Obama a story that lends a whole new meaning to the term ‘international relations.’

Bruni-Sarkozy said she and French President Nicolas Sarkozy once kept an unnamed head of state waiting while they had sex, the book says.

The book is by Jonathan Alter called ‘Obama Year One’ or something like that – people might actually read it if it’s full of First Ladies talking dirty to each other.

There’s also some old video of a young Carla Bruni on some fun TV show saying sex phrases in different languages from that book pictured above (which you can get on Amazon for like $300! What the fuck)- pretending to take it out of her purse and read naughty phrases like how to tell someone you want them to stick their finger in your butt. Which by-the-by should be fairly easy to ask for without using any language. You can see it on Gawker.com still, but it has been taken off YouTube for copyrights/France’s government doesn’t want people watching it’s First Lady saying stuff like that. I work in radio and can only imagine the greatness that would be audio of Michelle Obama saying things like that…

But, when you think about it, a young model goes on a a ‘fun’ type TV show and says some shockingly naughty things. I don’t think we would look twice if we saw that happen here on TV.

Oh, yeah, and since I can’t embed the TV show because I don’t possess the voodoo magic that Gawker has… here’s Carla Bruni’s music video.

The hot-ass wife of the President of France, I forget his name… SharkCozy or something, who cares, that’s his wife. Did I already say that, sorry, can’t write well when that picture is right in front of me. Anyway, she actually thinks that she loves some guy who happens to be the President of France (as opposed to loving the President of France who happens to be some guy). From this story:

Ms Bruni, 42, also said that she despised media which this month published unsubstantiated rumours about the state of her marriage with the French President.

The singer-supermodel said that the “media-political world” was brutal towards Mr Sarkozy, 55. “The balance, happiness and health of my man are serious subjects. I am going through this moment of life with a lot of worry.

First, SINGER-supermodel, who the hell knew she was a singer? Maybe it’s because she could be an amazing singer and she’d still be 10-times hotter than she is talented. No one would notice.

So, what happened was that it was rumored that the President of France was banging some hot chick, and that this Carla Bruni was getting banged by some dude. I think Ms. Bruni realizes that there is no way she can sleep around on her husband with all this media following them around. So, that’s smart. Because otherwise, what other Dream-Killer chicked-out bull-shit is this bitch trying to pull.

It was reported by me that she said, “Baby, I don’t think you should be the ruler of a whole country anymore… if you love me, you won’t do it anymore.” Personally, I don’ t think my sources are 100% accurate. But you can imagine that’s probably what she said.

Now as a guy I think I know what he must be realizing, that she’s about as good as he can get… but I don’t think that’s true SharkCozy! In your head, she’s as hot as she was when you first got together (like that picture above); but that’s not what she looks like anymore. You can do better than that. Ditch her, be the President France and get some hot-mother-fuckin’ French ass!

This is what she looks like now.

Still not bad, but if she thinks she’s going to get him to leave office for that…

Well, here we are… who’d a thought we’d make it. Who didn’t think we’d make it, bring it! And what’s this we crap! Damn it, this was supposed to be a happy occasion… and now look, it’s a mess. Fuck. Oh well, I just need to pick myself back up and be a professional. Let me take you on a little journey – I call it, ’100 Posts, ta-f’n-da’:

MOST SEARCHED FOR TERM THAT BROUGHT PEOPLE TO POLITICAL SEX:

That’s right, somehow my website stats know what people searched for to find the site. This is pretty god damn funny. By a giant margin, I mean huge, the term: Tight Jeans. That’s right, folks, Tight Jeans and various terms related to Tight Jeans, like: girls in tight jeans, tight jeans girls, ass in tight jeans, jeans ass, ladies in tight jeans, great ass in jeans… and so on. This is all from a post I did towards the beginning called: asking for it…

THE MOST VIEWED POST:

This one was fairly recent about a Republican chick running for some office who owns her own dildo peddling business, maybe it was so popular because the word ‘orgasm’ was in the title: a vote for orgasms…

FIRST POST:

Oh, how young, how naive… Here is the very first post on Political Sex, brilliantly called: blog…

MY FAVORITE POST:

This was tough; but after a solid 30 seconds of searching old posts I decided on one about international playa’, Nicolas Sarkozy… Sarkozy, Sar-kozy – now, why does that sound familiar? It’s because he wife is Carla Bruni – and he’s the president of France. But more importantly, his wife is Carla Bruni. My favorite post: hot wives are exhausting…

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:

The magnificent Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s prime minister, who has no problem living an open life of power and sex: here are the many posts on the greatest politician of our time.

THE BEST POST NO ONE SAW:

Or maybe everyone saw it, I don’t know. All I know is I invited people to participate in the comments and no one did. What could you the audience add? I was looking for a better slogan for my program to slow the world’s increasing population by encouraging the ‘Money Shot.’ I came up with a few like, “Save Open Space, Put it on Her Face”: strap it up for the environment…

And done. I guess that’s a good enough 100th Post Recap Special… whatever. More to come (god, you’re such a pervert; I wrote come, not cum, you sick bastard).

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The reason I am even talking about this spoiled little bastard - named Jean, which isn’t pronounced how you think it is, because he’s French - is because his dad, the president of France, just appointed him head of France’s premium business district. He’s 23 years old. This is funny – from this story:

• France has been riveted for days by the sudden ascent of the President’s second son, who is repeating his second year of undergraduate law studies.

Whatever, haters; undergraduate law studies is really hard. Especially the second year – it’s not like it’s the first year or something. Anyways, who gives a crap. He’ll probably have the smartest finance guy his father’s goverment can buy telling him how to look smart. He’ll be just fine. Now let’s get to the part we’re all excited about.

This 23-year-old mother-F’er’s stepmom is Carla Bruni (did anyone else hear that Boy-yoy-yong sound effect). I can only imagine.

- Carla, I’d like you to meet my son.

- It’s very nice to meet you, your father has told me so mu… what are you doing?

- Son, what do you think you are doing. Stop that. Zip those pants back up this instant mister.

- Nicolas, do something…

- God damn it Jean, put that away, that’s not what good little boys do.

- Ew, gross, it got on my shoe.

The whole situation makes me feel so wrong inside, but so right also. But that’s because Americans are all raised to be sexually repressed morons. This guy’s probably nailed more hot French tail than you can imagine. Hell, there’s a chance he already had sex with this chick during one of those wild French orgy that happen all the time over there; they do, don’t they? Yeah, that’s what I thought.