Political Sex

Here’s the recap of The State of the Union 2011 through Political Sex tweets, @PoliticalSex:

Twittering throughout the #stateoftheunion, starting in just a few minutes… Red tie or Blue tie? I’m thinking he’ll go with the Blue tie

At capacity! People filing in – this is like the Red Carpet for pompous asses This is going to be one hell of a show

Drinking game idea: drink everytime Gabby Giffords is mentioned

The entire cast of Jersey Shore just exploded from all these grenades in one place…

Any women feeling down on their looks should go to Congress; like standing next to the fattest friend you have…

Obama’s big pimpin’ around the room, kissin’ all them ladies…

A bluish gray tie! That counts… #stateoftheunion Giffords: Drink

Hey, I just saw Al Franken… That reminds me, Al Franken is just not funny

Of course Biden’s wearing a striped tie… What an ass Nice tan though

People don’t come to college here to study… it’s because we proudly have the drunkest, sluttiest college girls in the world

This is our Sputnik moment! Take that you communist bastards…

“Oil companies are doing fine on their own” ZING!

Uh, yeah, education’s cool, but chicks don’t have sex with the winner of the science fair

I’m already bored with the State of the Union. What are you wearing?

“Without the pat down” ZING!

Why do I have a craving for pie? And a game of trivial pursuit?

“new Health Care Law” ZING! I don’t get it

Whoa, just saw Michele Bachmann, she looked evil – and I’m not a hater, but damn girl, you look creepy

Competent government… is that an oxymoron

“Smoked” ZING!

Sing it with me: “America, Fuck Yeah!”

Is Al Queada watching this?

Who needs ya? Tunisia…

Okay, now I’ve run out of comments… Hey, there’s Joe Leiverman, that guy is not an attractive man.

I just saw I wrote Leiverman instead of Leiberman… fuckin’ sue me!

I think he’s wrapping up. omgomgomg! The Republicans are going to respond… I don’t know if this can get any more exciting

Miner! I didn’t even kiss her

That drilling guy just got the greatest ad placement in history… probably, I didn’t look it up or anything. Get off my back!

So, What’s the State of the Union, exactly… I was watching, but I’m still not sure. Did he say it was good? Bad?

Not to start any rumors, but this Paul Ryan guy giving the Republican Response looks like the kind of guy who will be caught with a hooker

Can’t pay attention to Rep. Paul Ryan’s response. I’m not sure why, exactly; like listening to those creeps on the corner with clipboards

Is it me or does Paul Ryan look like George McFly?

And what do you call that… The Aristocrats!

Well, here we are… who’d a thought we’d make it. Who didn’t think we’d make it, bring it! And what’s this we crap! Damn it, this was supposed to be a happy occasion… and now look, it’s a mess. Fuck. Oh well, I just need to pick myself back up and be a professional. Let me take you on a little journey – I call it, ’100 Posts, ta-f’n-da’:

MOST SEARCHED FOR TERM THAT BROUGHT PEOPLE TO POLITICAL SEX:

That’s right, somehow my website stats know what people searched for to find the site. This is pretty god damn funny. By a giant margin, I mean huge, the term: Tight Jeans. That’s right, folks, Tight Jeans and various terms related to Tight Jeans, like: girls in tight jeans, tight jeans girls, ass in tight jeans, jeans ass, ladies in tight jeans, great ass in jeans… and so on. This is all from a post I did towards the beginning called: asking for it…

THE MOST VIEWED POST:

This one was fairly recent about a Republican chick running for some office who owns her own dildo peddling business, maybe it was so popular because the word ‘orgasm’ was in the title: a vote for orgasms…

FIRST POST:

Oh, how young, how naive… Here is the very first post on Political Sex, brilliantly called: blog…

MY FAVORITE POST:

This was tough; but after a solid 30 seconds of searching old posts I decided on one about international playa’, Nicolas Sarkozy… Sarkozy, Sar-kozy – now, why does that sound familiar? It’s because he wife is Carla Bruni – and he’s the president of France. But more importantly, his wife is Carla Bruni. My favorite post: hot wives are exhausting…

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:

The magnificent Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s prime minister, who has no problem living an open life of power and sex: here are the many posts on the greatest politician of our time.

THE BEST POST NO ONE SAW:

Or maybe everyone saw it, I don’t know. All I know is I invited people to participate in the comments and no one did. What could you the audience add? I was looking for a better slogan for my program to slow the world’s increasing population by encouraging the ‘Money Shot.’ I came up with a few like, “Save Open Space, Put it on Her Face”: strap it up for the environment…

And done. I guess that’s a good enough 100th Post Recap Special… whatever. More to come (god, you’re such a pervert; I wrote come, not cum, you sick bastard).

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