That former politician who looks like Boy from “Little Monsters” who cheated on his wife while running for President with some videographer who he knocked up and had his assistant take the blame was formerly indicted for using campaign funds to pay for the cover-up – which apparently is not allowed. I don’t know why it’s not allowed, it was for his campaign; if the news got out, he would have stood even less of a chance of becoming President.
Former politician – I think he ran for president, or was it vice president… doesn’t matter – John Edwards says he would rather kill himself then go to prison, from this story:
According to the Enquirer, a close source said: ‘I think John is suicidal. He knows that if he’s indicted, prosecutors will try to get him to serve jail time and make an example of him.
‘He cried his eyes out and said, “I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!”‘
Recap: He was banging some videographer on one of his election campaigns. He knocked her up, too, so they really did have sex – which is weird because thinking about John Edwards having sex is like thinking about a panda bear masturbating (I’m right, huh). And the legal problem is that he used campaign money to take care of his baby-mama.
Former politician John “Boy” Edwards cheated on his wife with his campaign videographer, knocked her up, had his married assistant take the blame, and apparently made a sex tape with her. Edwards’ former assistant – named Andrew Young – supposedly has that sex tape, and the videographer who Edwards has since gotten together with after his wife died of cancer wants it back, from this story:
An attorney for a former John Edwards aide says the two-time presidential candidate from North Carolina has given sworn statements in a lawsuit over a purported sex tape.
Young contends the tape was found amid trash that Hunter left behind in a home he was renting.
I want to see the tape for the same reason I took a picture of two turtles having sex at the zoo.
But that’s not all! Now Edwards is probably being indicted, for this story:
Sources tell our CBS affiliate in Raleigh former Senator John Edwards could be indicted within the month.The two-year grand jury investigation appears to have zeroed in on the alleged cover-up of Edwards’ affair and money from a 100-year old supporter of the Democrat.
If you’re a person in power, especially politics, go ahead and do whatever you want, just don’t try to cover anything up, isn’t that right Silvio?
A former aide of John Edwards named Andrew Young says he has a sex tape of John Edwards with a very pregnant chick he was banging for a while named Rielle Hunter.
The most titillating revelation in Young’s book, however, remains the existence of a sex tape that Edwards and his lover Rielle Hunter reputedly made together. While Hunter’s face isn’t seen in the video, Cheri Young said bracelets and a thumb ring that belonged to Hunter are visible in the video.
I like how this means that this Andrew schmuck and his wife watched it, probably together. The skank in the video has a restraining order out to prevent the Youngs from selling/distributing the tape.
“In or about September 2006, using my video camera, I authored a personal video recording that depicted matters of a very private and personal nature,” Hunter wrote in an affidavit filed Thursday. “In 2006, I was also having an intimate relationship with Edwards.”
The child of Edwards and this chick, who is supposed to be visibly pregnant in the video, was born in 2008. Now, bear with me, I’m pretty sure babies are born in less than two years… unless something has changed since the last time I checked. I don’t really know from experience; when I knock a chick up I tell her that we should run away together, and pool all our money together so I can set everything up, and give her a train ticket to somewhere in the Mid West telling her I’ll catch-up with her after a wrap up a few things, but I never catch-up…
Oh, and it’s reported that John Edwards physically beat his cancer-fighting wife, which is not funny. Unless, he beat her with a rubber chicken. That would be really funny.
