Political Sex

I think being a stripper would be awesome; if I was a chick, I’d definitely be a stripper, especially if I lived in South Carolina (no real reason, just wanted to set the scene of this story). You never know where your job will take you from one day to another. More than likely, you’ll just be working the pole at a gentlemen’s club, but then, the next day you’re with an ex-politician, current state prosecuter – named Roland Corning - in a cemetary, from here:

• Police also found Viagra and sex toys that Corning said were there “just in case.”

I love that, ‘just in case.’ Ha! Well… sure, you just never know – if she’ll dance naked a cemetary for money, there’s no telling what she’ll do for a couple extra bucks.

And the dude kind of got out of it by flashing his prosecuter’s badge, he and the stripper were able to leave. And he would have got away with it too, if it wasn’t for the meddling cop and his wife who works for the Attorney General’s Office. Corning has since been fired. No word on the stripper getting busted, so it’s just another story for the girls back at the club. Oh, how I wish it was my story to tell; I’d even come up with voices for everyone, and I’d make it more of a dark comedy - pointing out that even the most serious situations in life are rife with hilarity. That’s right, I say rife.

Oh, and that’s the only picture of this dude that the papers are using, and it’s from almost 20 years ago. So all you ladies that were all like, ‘mm-hmm, I’d dance for him for cash…’ How about now? Really? Eww, you’re gross.