This photoshopped picture is the cover of a book written by Senator John McCain’s much-chubbier-in-real-life daughter - named Meghan McCain. As you can see it’s called Dirty Sexy Politics. I guess it’s about being on the campaign trail with her dad or something. Read it. Don’t Read. Who cares? But you probably shouldn’t read it. That’s just my opinion, and I seriously have nothing better to do… at all. And I still would never read this book.

Why am I so exhausted? I’m actually, physically drained just thinking about this cover having pages under it, with words on them; imagine reading those words. Ugh. I have absolutely nothing else to say about this. I need a nap.

Here’s a video of her talking to someone about having sex with Sarah Palin or something, I didn’t watch it.

I just realized what I care less about than if Sarah Palin’s slutty daughter plans on marrying her dumb-as-rocks baby-daddy… Some one asked me, ‘Hey, did you here Bristol and Levi are getting married?” And I said, “Who the fuck are they?” And they told me. Then I said, “Wow, I couldn’t care less!” Well, I stand corrected. From this story:

Teen mom Bristol Palin has broken off her engagement to Levi Johnston for a second time — less than a month after telling the world she planned to marry the father of her young son.The 19-year-old daughter of politician Sarah Palin was quoted on Tuesday as telling People magazine “It’s over. I broke up with him.”

This is pretty big news. I am never wrong. I mean, ever! But I admit that I thought there was nothing I could care less about. Damn it; I hate being wrong.

Wasn’t the slutty daughter of Sarah Palin (she’s that dopey idiot who was Republican vice presidential candidate) a hot 17 year old… Look at that picture of her on the cover of US Magazine. This is why I never talk to girls after I have sex with them, just in case I knock them up – they turn into chubby little school-marms. And I don’t even know what I marm is, which means marms are so unattractive it doesn’ t even work as a porn spoof (because if they did, I would have seen it – admitting to watching porn makes me edgy and real). From this story:

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal exclusively in the new Us Weekly that they are getting married.

And, they tell Us Weekly, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been kept in the dark about their plans … until now.

Oh no, what will Sarah do… oh, right, put out a press release:

Bristol at 19 is now a young adult. We obviously want what’s best for our children. Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.

So Sarah Palin’s daughter get knocked up by some loser, and it’s a great example of the trials we all go through, and then the loser runs away and does Playgirl and Sarah Palin calls him Ricky Hollywood, an aspiring porn actor, and now that the daughter and the loser are getting married it’s a great example of forgiveness. We should all take a lesson from Bristol Palin.

That kid is pretty cute, though; it’s just unfortunate he comes from the gene pool equivalent of mixing Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.

Sarah Palin is getting credit for getting some Republican women – including alleged-sex-maniac Nikki Haley (pictured above right) – wins in their primaries. The other is Carly Fiorina in California – the only reason I know that is because that’s the state I live in; Haley is from somewhere in the South. I’m not a Republican, which may be why I find even slightly attractive Republican women extremely attractive, but in a strictly ‘F’-able way. From this story:

In Tuesday’s primaries, two key Republicans came out on top with the help of the former Alaska governor.

In South Carolina, state representative Nikki Haley overcame allegations of an affair and beat three rivals in the race for the GOPs gubernatorial nomination.

In California, Palin threw her support behind Carly Fiorina over the Tea Party favorite Chuck DeVore for the GOP nomination for Senate.

Fiorina, a former Hewlett Packard CEO, convinced primary voters that she was conservative enough and easily won the nomination. She will face three-term incumbent Barbara Boxer in the fall.

This is fantastic, you can now hire this 19-year-old piece of ass to talk about sex. That’s not-even-close-to-becoming-Vice-President Sarah Palin’s slutty daughter who got all knocked up during her mother’s run with Senator John McCain. From this story:

Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers’ circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

 

Bristol Palin, 19, is listed on the speaking group’s website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.

What a fantastic example for young ladies of why not to have sex: ‘So let me get this straight, you had sex…’ ”Uh-huh…” ’Got pregnant…’ “That’s right…” ’And now you’re famous and make thousands of dollars to talk about sex….’ “Yep…” ‘Ah, Lucky! I do all that for free…’ “I know, it’s pretty awesome.”

There are thousands of teenage sluts getting knocked up every day, and no one wants to hear from any of them… especially not the guys who got them pregnant, trust me. But because her mom is a famously-failed politician, Bristol is able to make a couple bucks talking about her whorish ways. Whatever, get it if you can. Check out her bio on the speaker booking thing’s website:

Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter, took the country by storm practically overnight when she was introduced to Americans during the 2008 presidential campaign. Her teen pregnancy and the birth of her son Tripp, resulted in millions of Americans discussing the issues surrounding teen pregnancy. Bristol has since gone on to become a Teen Ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, and speaks about pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life. She recently appeared on the ABC drama “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” and is working on her first book.