Political Sex

Of course, when you think of Saudi Arabia you think of a wondrous, mystical land of adventure and magic; and you’d be right:

Saudi authorities have executed a woman convicted of practicing magic and sorcery.

The Saudi Interior Ministry says in a statement the execution took place Monday, but gave no details on the woman’s crime.

The London-based al-Hayat daily, however, quoted Abdullah al-Mohsen, chief of the religious police who arrested the woman, as saying she had tricked people into thinking she could treat illnesses, charging them $800 per session. (sfgate)

How awesome is this! Not that a woman was murdered by her government, but that they believe in magic. And they’re adults. It would be like playing Harry Potter with my friends outside the doughnut shop on Friday nights, but for reals, and all day, every day. It’s like never having to grow up; a real life Neverland that Saudi Arabia.

I wonder if you could get out of jam there by flicking on a lighter… He makes fire from small box, he must be a very powerful wizard.

Currently women aren’t allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, so I guess they all have drivers – which sounds awesome by-the-way. But they’re all butt-hurt about their lack of “rights,” including not being allowed to drive. A Saudi prince – named Alwaleed bin Talal – thinks it would be a good idea to let them drive… but maybe because that would mean they could kick 750K foreigners out of the country, from this story:

“A lot of Saudi women want to drive their car in line with strict regulations and wearing a headscarf. But now they need a driver … This is an additional burden on households,” [Prince Alwaleed bin Talal] said.

“The Saudi society wants fewer foreign labourers … so why the hesitation, why this hesitation (with women driving cars)? I want answers,” he said.

A ban could only be lifted by the government in consultation with the country’s top Islamic scholars.

If there’s one thing that Saudi Arabia’s top Islamic scholars are known for, it’s their respect for women’s rights, so I’m pretty sure they’ll listen to reason and come around.

Some guy talked about having sex on TV and now will be jailed for five years and get whipped one thousand times. No, no, it’s not Charlie Sheen – although, he would pay prostitutes a lot of money for that, Hey Ooooh! – it was in Saudi Arabia, of course. From this story:

• The program, “Bold Red Line,” begins with Abdul-Jawad, dubbed a “sex braggart” and “Casanova” by the media, describing the first time he had sex at 14. He then leads viewers into his bedroom, dominated by red accessories, and then shows off blurred sex toys.

It’s about time they cracked down on indecency over there, it was turning into a hedonistic cesspool; what with all the exposed cheek bones… sluts! Actually, it’s a toss up: you can’t talk about sex, but you can beat your lady for just glancing at another dude… I mean, I guess I like talking about sex, eh, yeah, okay, we have it alright over here. “He made a weird noise, I couldn’t help but look over there, I didn’t even know it was a man until (whack!)” ‘Silence, whore…’

If I were the leader of a backwards-ass country like Saudi Arabia, I’d have the guy doing the whipping dress like Indiana Jones and the people getting whipped dress like Short Round. And every time they get whipped they have to say, “Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We got company.’ And then make them walk around in their underwear throwing firecrackers up in the air while Sister Christian is blaring in the background… (sigh) I love Asian boys.