Some guy talked about having sex on TV and now will be jailed for five years and get whipped one thousand times. No, no, it’s not Charlie Sheen – although, he would pay prostitutes a lot of money for that, Hey Ooooh! – it was in Saudi Arabia, of course. From this story:

• The program, “Bold Red Line,” begins with Abdul-Jawad, dubbed a “sex braggart” and “Casanova” by the media, describing the first time he had sex at 14. He then leads viewers into his bedroom, dominated by red accessories, and then shows off blurred sex toys.

It’s about time they cracked down on indecency over there, it was turning into a hedonistic cesspool; what with all the exposed cheek bones… sluts! Actually, it’s a toss up: you can’t talk about sex, but you can beat your lady for just glancing at another dude… I mean, I guess I like talking about sex, eh, yeah, okay, we have it alright over here. “He made a weird noise, I couldn’t help but look over there, I didn’t even know it was a man until (whack!)” ‘Silence, whore…’

If I were the leader of a backwards-ass country like Saudi Arabia, I’d have the guy doing the whipping dress like Indiana Jones and the people getting whipped dress like Short Round. And every time they get whipped they have to say, “Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We got company.’ And then make them walk around in their underwear throwing firecrackers up in the air while Sister Christian is blaring in the background… (sigh) I love Asian boys.