I didn’t know what picture to use for teenagers having sex, so I picked some sort of condom train like deal. Whatever, young ladies be givin’ it up… From this story:

The pregnancy rate among 15-to-19-year-olds increased 3 percent between 2005 and 2006 —the first jump since 1990, according to an analysis of the most recent data collected by the federal government and the nation’s leading reproductive-health think tank.

Sluts. Although, does this mean that more chicks are having sex; does this mean that there are the same amount of guys having sex; does that mean that the same amount of guys are having sex with more chicks… Damn. That’s awesome. Keep up the good work guys! Just stop getting them pregnant; idiots!

Some guy talked about having sex on TV and now will be jailed for five years and get whipped one thousand times. No, no, it’s not Charlie Sheen – although, he would pay prostitutes a lot of money for that, Hey Ooooh! – it was in Saudi Arabia, of course. From this story:

• The program, “Bold Red Line,” begins with Abdul-Jawad, dubbed a “sex braggart” and “Casanova” by the media, describing the first time he had sex at 14. He then leads viewers into his bedroom, dominated by red accessories, and then shows off blurred sex toys.

It’s about time they cracked down on indecency over there, it was turning into a hedonistic cesspool; what with all the exposed cheek bones… sluts! Actually, it’s a toss up: you can’t talk about sex, but you can beat your lady for just glancing at another dude… I mean, I guess I like talking about sex, eh, yeah, okay, we have it alright over here. “He made a weird noise, I couldn’t help but look over there, I didn’t even know it was a man until (whack!)” ‘Silence, whore…’

If I were the leader of a backwards-ass country like Saudi Arabia, I’d have the guy doing the whipping dress like Indiana Jones and the people getting whipped dress like Short Round. And every time they get whipped they have to say, “Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We got company.’ And then make them walk around in their underwear throwing firecrackers up in the air while Sister Christian is blaring in the background… (sigh) I love Asian boys.

One of the founders of WordPress was at the radio studios where I work. Nice guy… 25 years old. Probably incredibly wealthy, which is just great. Good for him. On an equally awesome note, I once got my picture taken with Ron Jeremy. It was Havasu in the 90′s, a simpler time; we were hot and sweaty, both wearing white short-sleeved button downs. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito in Twins.

This guy gets to spend the weekend on a tropical island with Richard Branson to plan the future of the world. I get to pick crabs out of my armpits for a week. Put that in your diet… because it’s balanced? What? Terrible. Why did I write that? I even thought, ‘wow, this would be the worst thing to write right now.’ Why didn’t I erase it?

I thought the best thing to do for my ego would be to show this guy just who can become an Internet millionaire. So I decided to use what he created, write some stuff, and bada-bing bada-boom – millionaire. Yep, here we go. Yeah, you know what? This is hard. It took me hours just to figure out how to change the background. The directions are about five lines long. Seriously, I feel incredibly stupid. Whatever.

Now I’m blogging. And I put nothing in this first blog post about what this is going to cover. Maybe the worst blog ever? Fuck you then. I just started. Politics and Sex, and everything in-between.

I’m watching a King of Queens episode. Did Leah Ramini get fat for reals? It really looks like, but they can do crazy things with make-up. They did something like that on the Drew Carrey show. Nope, she really got fat, I’m calling it. That too bad.