Tuesday, 8. November 2011
Well, it was fun while it lasted. The Greatest Politician in the World is stepping down, from this story:
Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi promised Tuesday to resign after parliament passes economic reforms demanded by the European Union, capping a two-decade political career that has ended with Italy on the brink of being swept into Europe’s debt crisis.
This is a sad day at the Political Sex offices; we have re-tacked that chick who left her panties in the bathroom after having sex during an office party’s panties halfway down the Winning Wall (it’s really just an empty wall with one pair of panties tacked on it).
Here is how Silvio Berlusconi has consensually touched us in our no-no spots:
Sunday, 21. June 2009
Tuesday, 28. July 2009
Friday, 28. August 2009
Wednesday, 21. October 2009
Wednesday, 16. December 2009
Monday, 13. September 2010
Monday, 1. November 2010
Friday, 3. December 2010
Friday, 14. January 2011
Thursday, 20. January 2011
Thursday, 27. January 2011
Monday, 14. February 2011
Tuesday, 15. February 2011
Thursday, 17. February 2011
Monday, 7. March 2011
Tuesday, 10. May 2011
Friday, 16. September 2011
Monday, 19. September 2011
Thursday, 29. September 2011
Huh, that was a lot of copying and pasting.
Thursday, 29. September 2011
Silvio Berlusconi is 75 years old, and for the last two years he’s been banging former Miss Montegnegro – whatever that hell that is – Katarina Knezevic, who was 18 when they first got together, from this story:
Details of the relationship were revealed by Miss Knezevic, now 20, in an interview with Italian newspaper La Repubblica in which she said: ‘I am Berlusconi’s girlfriend and I live at Arcore (his villa near Milan). We have been together since the Noemi episode when he separated from his wife.
‘But I have never blackmailed him – that’s what others have done, they used him and betrayed him.’
She said: ‘We met two years ago in 2009. It was the beginning of May and I was 18 years old. Silvio had just separated from his wife. We met in Milan at an opening ceremony. Wherever he goes I go, I follow him everywhere.’
When Berlusconi dies, I want to be at the funeral so that I can be the one that starts the slow clap as he’s lowered into the ground.
Monday, 19. September 2011
Some tapes of The Greatest Politician in the World have revealed he’s even more awesome than anyone thought, just remember the pussy needs to go around; from this story:
“Last night I had a queue outside the door of the bedroom… There were 11 … I only did eight because I could not do it anymore,” Berlusconi told Tarantini in 2009. “Listen, all the beds are full here … this lot won’t go home, even at gunpoint.”
”Listen Gianpaolo, now we need at most two each,” said Berlusconi in one call. “Because now I want that you have yours, otherwise I will always feel I am in your debt. Then we can trade. After all, the pussy needs to go around.”
“These are people who can get jobs for whoever they want,” he told Tarantini. “Therefore the girls will get the idea that they are in front of men who can decide their destiny.”
I wish I could be ‘that guy’ who wears raunchy T-shirts in public, because I would love to walk around with an “After all, the pussy needs to go around” T-shirt. Although, I would have to grow a handlebar mustache to really pull off that shirt, and I just don’t have that ability. It’s not my fault I can’t grow thick facial hair. That doesn’t mean I’m not a man! It doesn’t, alright. I am a man. Stupid, hairy, bastards…
Of course, Silvio still says he’s done nothing wrong.
“My private life is not a crime, my lifestyle may or may not please, it is personal, reserved and irreproachable.”
Ah, yes, the ol’ “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” rebuttal; classic.
Friday, 16. September 2011
The greatest politician in the world, Silvio Berlusconi, who you may remember as Italy’s Prime Minister who had ‘bunga-bunga’ parties where it is reported that people supplied whores for these parties, and one of them was a 17 year old, who Berlusconi and she say they never had sex – that case is still ongoing. Now, the people who supplied the whores are being charged, from this story:
Prosecutors in Italy have charged eight people with supplying prostitutes for Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.
The charges were made as investigators concluded an inquiry into a number of friends and associates of Mr Berlusconi in the southern city of Bari.
The suspects are alleged to have procured young women for Mr Berlusconi as well as several other of his business associates.
It’s legal to bang a whore in Italy if she’s over 18, but the prosecutors are saying that one of these people “recruited prostitutes, starlets and other young women to attend parties at Mr Berlusconi’s homes.” Maybe you can fuck a whore, but you can’t recruit one? Whatever, I guess if you’re in Italy, don’t ask someone to have sex with you for money, let them come to you; if you don’t get approached try fanning out your cash and making humping movements with your crotch. Just don’t do that near a school… What!? Like I’m supposed to know what ‘high school’ in Italian; what am I, a linguistics professor?
Monday, 7. March 2011
What would The Greatest Politician in the World do to escape all the trouble he seems to be in, from this story:
Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi underwent jaw and dental surgery for four hours Monday to repair damage suffered when a man hurled a statuette at him in 2009.
The 74-year-old Berlusconi was operated on with general anesthesia in Milan, said a statement from his office that quoted his personal doctor, Alberto Zangrillo.
Hmm, that sounds suspect to me; four hour dental surgery? Sounds like plenty of time to have a full face-switch-off-like-the-movie-Face-Off surgery and escape the country… but not before shaming his foes, and rescuing Ruby the Heartbreaker. Or he just had his teeth fixed. What am I, the old whore-monger police?