Monday, 24. October 2011
A politician in Connecticut has decided it would be best for everyone if we all take a crap on the tradition of Halloween – as in being All Hollows Eve, as in being the Eve of The Day of the Dead – and change the “rules” so that Halloween always lands on a Saturday, from this story:
A recent proposal by Conn. State Rep. Tim Larson pitched the idea of celebrating Halloween on the last weekend of October rather than the holiday’s traditional Oct. 31 date.
“Halloween is fun night for the whole family, but not so much when you have to race home from work, get the kids ready for trick-or-treating, welcome the neighborhood children, and then try to get everyone to bed for an early school and work morning,” Larson said in a statement. “Halloween has also become one of the top holidays for retailers selling candy, decorations, costumes and general party supplies.
Family? Since when is Halloween about parents and kids? Halloween is the time-honored tradition of chicks dressing up like sluts, and not just sluts, fetish sluts (nurse, school girl, Sarah Palin). And it doesn’t matter what day Halloween falls on; it’s actually better when Halloween doesn’t fall on a Saturday, because they still go out on the Saturday before Halloween and again on Halloween. If it landed on a Saturday every year, we’d only get one night of slutty-zombie-vampire-whores, instead of two. Get your head out of your ass, Tim!
Wednesday, 9. June 2010
Sarah Palin is getting credit for getting some Republican women – including alleged-sex-maniac Nikki Haley (pictured above right) – wins in their primaries. The other is Carly Fiorina in California – the only reason I know that is because that’s the state I live in; Haley is from somewhere in the South. I’m not a Republican, which may be why I find even slightly attractive Republican women extremely attractive, but in a strictly ‘F’-able way. From this story:
In Tuesday’s primaries, two key Republicans came out on top with the help of the former Alaska governor.
In South Carolina, state representative Nikki Haley overcame allegations of an affair and beat three rivals in the race for the GOPs gubernatorial nomination.
In California, Palin threw her support behind Carly Fiorina over the Tea Party favorite Chuck DeVore for the GOP nomination for Senate.
Fiorina, a former Hewlett Packard CEO, convinced primary voters that she was conservative enough and easily won the nomination. She will face three-term incumbent Barbara Boxer in the fall.
I hope Nikki Haley wins, and then more scandalous sex stuff comes out about her, and then Sarah Palin would have to defend her, and defend her own involvement with her - like they were girlfriends or something. That’d be some good stuff, hell, it doesn’t need to be true: all you have to do is call a girl a slut once, and from that point on, her and all her friends are nothing but a bunch of sluts… God damn I love sluts, but not as much as I like calling girls sluts when the won’t go home with me – and yes, I realize the irony. But you can pull it off if you use it in the ‘I wouldn’t want to be with such a dirty slut, anyway’ kind of way. Slut!
Friday, 30. April 2010
This is great news for everyone… Hymenoplasty. For centuries Arab women have been afraid to get their slut on because if there’s no evidence of a intact hymen on their wedding night (that’s the polite way of saying ‘if they don’t bleed from their vaginas’) they risk getting killed. But now, the can give it up to whomever and however many dudes they want because for a couple grand they can have their hymens back. From this story:
Now more and more [Arab women] are undergoing surgery to re-connect their hymens and hide any sign of past sexual activity. They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.
First: Gross. Second: This is fantastic. Why? Uh, hello (I say as I knock on your forehead) Anyone home? And after you punch me in the face I explain… This opens up the bangin’ pool my friends. That’s right – guys need as many chances to score as possible and it’s always great news when we add a whole new demographic. I got a dollar for the first guy to score by promising to pay for some chick’s hymenoplasty. (Disclaimer: I’m not giving anyone a dollar for anything) This is like after that Bridget Jones Diary movie when bars were flooded with chubby blond chicks who thought they could land a hot guy as their boyfriend by being clumsy, love-sick dopes. That movie saved a bunch of guys from going home alone at 2 am. And gave a bunch of taxi drivers a fare at 4 am… What now? Now you’s gots to go…
Tuesday, 26. January 2010
I didn’t know what picture to use for teenagers having sex, so I picked some sort of condom train like deal. Whatever, young ladies be givin’ it up… From this story:
The pregnancy rate among 15-to-19-year-olds increased 3 percent between 2005 and 2006 —the first jump since 1990, according to an analysis of the most recent data collected by the federal government and the nation’s leading reproductive-health think tank.
Sluts. Although, does this mean that more chicks are having sex; does this mean that there are the same amount of guys having sex; does that mean that the same amount of guys are having sex with more chicks… Damn. That’s awesome. Keep up the good work guys! Just stop getting them pregnant; idiots!