South Carolina’s Governor is named Bev Perdue – I know, stupid name, right? – and apparently she doesn’t know how to deliver sarcasm. There’s a certain inflection one must present when saying something with the intent of being sarcastic. When asked about how she would fix the economy, she said that they should perhaps suspend Congressional elections for two years and give them a free pass during that time, from this story:

“My point was one of sarcasm,” Perdue told reporters in Thomasville. “We really just need to encourage our leaders who are elected to work together and solve America’s problems.”

I’ve heard sarcasm once or twice, and I’ve even been known to engage in such behavior on occasion; I listened to the audio clip of this, and it really doesn’t sound like any form of sarcasm that I’m accustomed to. But this is The South, and maybe that’s how they do sarcasm there – when someone finishes speaking, the people listening go through everything that person said line-by-line asking them if that was sarcasm or not. That sounds tedious, The South is weird.

If you want to hear her:

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From this website.

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This guy – named Alvin Greene – won a primary victory for some federal office with zero campaigning. Whatever; I don’t care what that says about our society. What I do care about is this, from this story:

In one interview, he suggested that the state’s economy could be improved by making and selling action figures depicting him in his uniform.

Awesome. And to really put him on top:

Greene… was arrested in November after authorities said he approached a student in a University of South Carolina computer lab, showed her obscene photos online, then talked about going to her dorm room.

And… did they go back to her room. What the hell kind of reporting is this? Gross negligence! I have been going through an internal battle over whether showing women pornography is a good way to pick them up. I would think yes. I get it that he was arrested, but come on, if I let the fear of the law stop me from picking up women I’d never get laid; women who go home with you because you tell them you have weed, or coke, or because you show them dirty pictures are really the only girls worth the effort anyway.

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This chick is running for some office where she’ll be the first chick who does whatever, doesn’t matter, what matters is that she’s down to fuck… allegedly (Does that make it so it’s not libel? That’s stupid; all I have to do is put allegedly after something and I can say whatever I want… uh, actually that’s not stupid at all, that’s Awesome. So I could say she likes to masturbate with rabbit corpses while dwarfs dressed like ninjas throw rotten tomatoes at her, allegedly. Sweet).

Her name is Nikki Haley – of course it is, anyone named Nikki is ready to go - and from this story:

A South Carolina lobbyist resigned from a rival political campaign on Wednesday and then became the second man to claim he had a tryst with a Republican lawmaker trying to become the state’s first female governor.

Lobbyist Larry Marchant admitted he had no proof to back up his allegation of a one-night stand with state Rep. Nikki Haley in 2008 and her campaign vehemently denied the allegation.

Of course people on her side are saying the accusations are 100% wrong, and that people just don’t want a chick doing… what was it, I really wasn’t paying attention, I can’t imagine why it would matter anyway. Really? Some guy quits his job and ruins his career because they don’t want her to be a politician. Right… Or maybe women want sex as much as men – at least they do when they’re with me so I assume that’s the way it is for everyone. And how dare her side with their double standard… What!? Women can’t be whore-monger politicians too? Outrageous. I am personally offended on behalf of all women. Also on behalf of all women I think we should all kiss with tongue whenever we meet up… but only if we’re both hot.

Related posts:

1. great Republican three-way…
2. who the ‘F’ cares what you think…
3. god damn I hate Jenny Sanford so much…

This chick’s the reason why guys cheat on their girlfriends… so it’s no surprise that her husband cheated on her with some hot Argentinian chick. If you don’t know, and why should you, this is Jenny Sanford. She divorced her Governor-of-South-Carolina-Mark-Sanford husband. Then she went on TV talk shows because she’s brave for some reason, and then she wrote a book because of being this type of brave woman. I’m still not sure how getting cheated on makes you brave – I’ve actually been doing research on the subject; I’ve been dating girls all romantic-like and then dumping their asses, after which I ask How do you feel? Brave? The data is so far inconclusive. Anyway, now this from this story:

Divorced former South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford confirms that she’s dating a Georgia businessman whose coastal vacation home is a few doors down from hers.

Holy fuck! This is awful, just awful. You know she and every chick out there is thinking “Oh, this is just like those stupid fucking chick flicks I like.” No, it’s not, that’s not how stuff actually happens. This guy knows how rich she is, he sees that she’s been betrayed, and thinks, I bet I could totally nail that. And you know what, because you know this loser with a book watches chick flicks, he’s right, what an easy target. One walk down the beach at sunset talking about what she’s interested in and bada-bing-bada-boom. 

Related posts:

1. why is Jenny Sanford always in the news…
2. nice, Mark Sanford seeing about a girl…
3. who the ‘F’ cares what you think…

South Carolina’s governor Mark Sanford is great. He did exactly what he should have done; after he cheated on his stupid wife with a woman he says he fell in love with – and not the type of love where you say you love her so she’ll let you bang her, cool ‘movie’ love - so his wife divorced him, instead of being a big pussy he goes right back after the chick he wants. From this story:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said Wednesday he spent last weekend in Florida with his Argentine lover, hoping to rekindle the affair that wrecked his marriage and his political future and brought a formal rebuke from legislators for embarrassing the state.

“Formal rebuke?” Whatever, he’s basically days away from not being a politician anymore, and then he’ll just be some rich guy with no ties to anyone who gets to travel around the world chasing some hot Argentinian chick… so he tells everyone wagging their fingers at him to Fuck Off. He might be my hero.

Related posts:

1. god damn I hate Jenny Sanford so much…
2. why is Jenny Sanford always in the news…
3. who the ‘F’ cares what you think…