Political Sex

Well, here we are… who’d a thought we’d make it. Who didn’t think we’d make it, bring it! And what’s this we crap! Damn it, this was supposed to be a happy occasion… and now look, it’s a mess. Fuck. Oh well, I just need to pick myself back up and be a professional. Let me take you on a little journey – I call it, ’100 Posts, ta-f’n-da’:

MOST SEARCHED FOR TERM THAT BROUGHT PEOPLE TO POLITICAL SEX:

That’s right, somehow my website stats know what people searched for to find the site. This is pretty god damn funny. By a giant margin, I mean huge, the term: Tight Jeans. That’s right, folks, Tight Jeans and various terms related to Tight Jeans, like: girls in tight jeans, tight jeans girls, ass in tight jeans, jeans ass, ladies in tight jeans, great ass in jeans… and so on. This is all from a post I did towards the beginning called: asking for it…

THE MOST VIEWED POST:

This one was fairly recent about a Republican chick running for some office who owns her own dildo peddling business, maybe it was so popular because the word ‘orgasm’ was in the title: a vote for orgasms…

FIRST POST:

Oh, how young, how naive… Here is the very first post on Political Sex, brilliantly called: blog…

MY FAVORITE POST:

This was tough; but after a solid 30 seconds of searching old posts I decided on one about international playa’, Nicolas Sarkozy… Sarkozy, Sar-kozy – now, why does that sound familiar? It’s because he wife is Carla Bruni – and he’s the president of France. But more importantly, his wife is Carla Bruni. My favorite post: hot wives are exhausting…

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:

The magnificent Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s prime minister, who has no problem living an open life of power and sex: here are the many posts on the greatest politician of our time.

THE BEST POST NO ONE SAW:

Or maybe everyone saw it, I don’t know. All I know is I invited people to participate in the comments and no one did. What could you the audience add? I was looking for a better slogan for my program to slow the world’s increasing population by encouraging the ‘Money Shot.’ I came up with a few like, “Save Open Space, Put it on Her Face”: strap it up for the environment…

And done. I guess that’s a good enough 100th Post Recap Special… whatever. More to come (god, you’re such a pervert; I wrote come, not cum, you sick bastard).

Follow the blog on Twitter @PoliticalSex

Talk about positive reinforcement… meet Stepfanie Velez-Gentry, she’s a small business owning republican running for state assembly in New Jersey or wherever; and that’s really boring (she’s not all that hot) so what the hell is it doing on Political Sex – we have some standards here. Well… she is a dildo peddler. Maybe this is why hot conservative chicks are hot – liberal ladies act all sexually open and adventurous, but they talk about it so much it’ll make you want to rip your face off, but conservative chicks don’t really talk about it - I bet they just do it.

• Stepfanie Velez-Gentry is the owner of Nookie Parties LLC. She makes a living organizing parties for women and couples where she sells sex toys, lotions, games, lingerie and other erotic items.
• “We enhance people’s romances and make people happy. It’s wonderful,” she said. “It makes the moms and dads happy, and then everyone is happy.”
• Velez-Gentry said the parties have been a great way to meet voters and network.

Man, if she’s smart she should put her logo on the toys… Don’t chicks name their little vibrating friends; I’m gonna have a hot bath, maybe light some vanilla candles, have a glass of wine, and bring out my lil’ Velez-Gentry. Then they go to the polls, read the names, see ‘Velez-Gentry,’ and bam - like Pavlov’s Dog in their pants. Eww… (look it up if you don’t know why that’s kind of gross) Anyway, that physical response is a guaranteed vote. Who doens’t want to Pavlov’s Dog in their pants every time they see a politician.