I guess people go to Spain, call themselves pilgrims, and make out with statues. Hey, I’m not one to judge the sexual appetites of others (I myself enjoy a bit of the ‘abnormal’ coitus, I’ll give you a hint: anti-gravity), but that seems like a long way to go to get off. Well, because of these perverts – they’re called agalmatophiliacs (I looked it up) - the Spanish government is worried about a new STD, Swine Flu, that may spread through this sick, statue loving circle.

In case you like knowing about sexual fetishes, pervert, this is from Wikipedia:

• Agalmatophilia (from the Greek agalma ‘statue’, and -philia φιλία = love) is a paraphilia concerned with the sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object.

So… I guess we’re still being patient, but DAMN! $1.086 trillion deficit

Sarah Palin has been raising money… I need a PAC, however that scam works – I want in!

New flu “unstoppable”, WHO says, calls for vaccine

A building wide email went out where I work today telling us someone in the building has been “exposed” to Swine Flu, but not the person’s name. I’ve been traveling, and partying for a week, so I’m a little under the weather. I’m afraid to cough, or sniffle – people judge. Bastards.

Here’s the email:

All,

One of our employees has been exposed to Swine Flu.

According to the CDC, like seasonal flu, symptoms of swine flu infections can include:

fever, which is usually high, but unlike seasonal flu, is sometimes absent
cough
runny nose or stuffy nose
sore throat
body aches
headache
chills
fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme
diarrhea and vomiting, sometimes, but more commonly seen than with seasonal flu fever.

As a reminder, if you develop flu like symptoms you should see your doctor.

It kind of just sounds like a lame-ass cold, which I have. I’m going to ham it up big time tomorrow; coughing, shivering, yawning, sniffling, and running to the bathroom with urgency. And if any one’s in the bathroom I’ll make fart sounds with my mouth. That will get them going, I’ll probably be asked to leave early. I’m a genius.