Political Sex

Sometimes I think we in The United States have a pretty boring existence, and sometimes I think that it would be more interesting to have to deal with an oppressive government, one that you may have to revolt against. But then I think about what’s on TV tonight and I try to decide between cooking at home or picking up something on the way, and it’s Friday so who am I trying to fool, of course I’m going to pick something up along the way – I really wish there was a Taco Bell on the way because I’m feeling really lazy and don’t want to go out of the way to get Taco Bell even though that’s what I’m really craving, probably because of all the media attention it’s been getting about their delicious ‘beef.’ So, having to be a part of a revolution - gathering good throwin’ rocks, throwing the rocks, dodging rubber bullets – doesn’t really fit into my schedule right now. And how tiring would that be… it doesn’t seem like something you can do for a bit and then go get a couple beers. It’s quite the commitment.

The Egyptian government has also turned off the Internet, from this story:

To combat social media, another important weapon for the demonstrators, outside experts and people living in the country say the government has coordinated a blockage of certain communications websites and unplugged internet access entirely to parts of the country.

On Thursday, protesters active on Twitter and Facebook, publicly documenting demonstrations on the streets of Cairo, Alexandria and other cities, went quiet. Around the same time, many websites centralized on servers in Egypt disappeared.

And the US government wants to give the President the power to do the same (link)?

Here’s the recap of The State of the Union 2011 through Political Sex tweets, @PoliticalSex:

Twittering throughout the #stateoftheunion, starting in just a few minutes… Red tie or Blue tie? I’m thinking he’ll go with the Blue tie

At capacity! People filing in – this is like the Red Carpet for pompous asses This is going to be one hell of a show

Drinking game idea: drink everytime Gabby Giffords is mentioned

The entire cast of Jersey Shore just exploded from all these grenades in one place…

Any women feeling down on their looks should go to Congress; like standing next to the fattest friend you have…

Obama’s big pimpin’ around the room, kissin’ all them ladies…

A bluish gray tie! That counts… #stateoftheunion Giffords: Drink

Hey, I just saw Al Franken… That reminds me, Al Franken is just not funny

Of course Biden’s wearing a striped tie… What an ass Nice tan though

People don’t come to college here to study… it’s because we proudly have the drunkest, sluttiest college girls in the world

This is our Sputnik moment! Take that you communist bastards…

“Oil companies are doing fine on their own” ZING!

Uh, yeah, education’s cool, but chicks don’t have sex with the winner of the science fair

I’m already bored with the State of the Union. What are you wearing?

“Without the pat down” ZING!

Why do I have a craving for pie? And a game of trivial pursuit?

“new Health Care Law” ZING! I don’t get it

Whoa, just saw Michele Bachmann, she looked evil – and I’m not a hater, but damn girl, you look creepy

Competent government… is that an oxymoron

“Smoked” ZING!

Sing it with me: “America, Fuck Yeah!”

Is Al Queada watching this?

Who needs ya? Tunisia…

Okay, now I’ve run out of comments… Hey, there’s Joe Leiverman, that guy is not an attractive man.

I just saw I wrote Leiverman instead of Leiberman… fuckin’ sue me!

I think he’s wrapping up. omgomgomg! The Republicans are going to respond… I don’t know if this can get any more exciting

Miner! I didn’t even kiss her

That drilling guy just got the greatest ad placement in history… probably, I didn’t look it up or anything. Get off my back!

So, What’s the State of the Union, exactly… I was watching, but I’m still not sure. Did he say it was good? Bad?

Not to start any rumors, but this Paul Ryan guy giving the Republican Response looks like the kind of guy who will be caught with a hooker

Can’t pay attention to Rep. Paul Ryan’s response. I’m not sure why, exactly; like listening to those creeps on the corner with clipboards

Is it me or does Paul Ryan look like George McFly?

And what do you call that… The Aristocrats!

John Cusack seems like a like-able enough guy, but what the hell would I know about it. He felt like being a little political, or something, so like all the other douche-bag celebrities who take to the twitter to express themselves he tweets this on Sunday:

I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS

Why is everything ALL CAPS EXCEPT FOR ‘and all the,’ weird. Was he holding the Shift button down while typing or did he have Caps Lock on, and then take it off for a few words and then put it back on. As of the 31st, he’s still tweeting about this crap; the worst thing you can do is give a celebrity relevance… He posted these drunken slurs:

hope twipolice tell me what’ sok comming out myown little twi-feed….no jokes no CAPS– no tonaly quesytionabe insights into politcis

i want to be a good boy for them all– did i miss something? any other rules i should follow?

ummm.. was sbeing sarcastic about the rules- i’m irish — dont do well with arbitrary authority

I only have one thing to say to John Cusack… When are you going to make a sequel to Grosse Point Blank, I found that movie incredibly charming.

This is Meghan McCain, better known as the TwitPic Boob Girl, and when the whole twitter picture thing happened, she vowed to never speak of it again. From her article titled America’s Boob Police:

(Despite rumors of breast augmentation, Simpson has always insisted her breasts are real.) Compounding the issue, she posted a picture of herself displaying a lot of cleavage, which caused a serious Twitpic backlash. (I myself have a little experience in this department, so I am sympathetic to Simpson and others who are vilified for showing off their figures.)

Her article basically accuses society of having an unfair fascination with fake breasts, and ladies are unfairly being called “big” because their giant breasts are real, where they wouldn’t be called big if their boobs were fake. That’s stupid. It has nothing to do with fake or real. She compares Heidi Montag with her DDD boobs, with Jessica Simpson’s giants (who’s kind of tubby now).

But Heidi Montag is hot. That’s why we like hers more than Jessica Simpsons. Maybe she doesn’t think we guys know, but we know that fat girls have big boobs. And they have big boobs because they’re fat. Hell, fat guys have big boobs. Big boobs aren’t hot if they’re attached to a fat chick; true story.

Meghan “That-chick-who-posted-that-boobie-pic-on-Twitter-who-also-happens-to-be-former-presidential-candidate-Senator-John-McCain’s-daughter” McCain has a book coming out in August; she just released the title on her Twitter account: Dirty Sexy Politics: A True Story. She tweets:

Well, I guess no better time then the very start of 2010! Keep in mind, my book title like me, is meant to be irreverent and tongue & cheek

Good for her, I guess. I don’t get her, though. Like in the movie BIG with Tom Hanks, and the douche bag played by that guy whose name doesn’t matter is explaining the sky-scraper robot, and Tom Hank’s character says, “I don’t get it.” That’s exactly how I feel about Meghan McCain. So, it’s a chubby blonde Republican who thinks she’s entertaining but really isn’t? Well, what’s fun about that. I just don’t god damn get her.

I do like how she says she is “tongue&cheek” (first of all, it’s tongue-IN-cheek) because it make me picture her doing the BJ mime thing; oh Meghan, you pervert.