I feel a little bad for little North Korea sometimes; it’s like that small kid in your neighborhood who always got picked on because he’s an asshole and every time he would walk away - embarrassed once again – he would scream, “You’ll be sorry!” Ha… so cute. From this story:

North Korea’s military threatened Sunday to launch the “severest punishment” against South Korea for staging massive joint war games with the United States this week.

Oh no, we had better not, or we’ll get their ”severest punishment” if we do. Ha-ha. Go fuck yourself, North Korea. We’ll do whatever we want and after we do we’ll take turns screwing your sister behind the bushes… slut.

The United States and England will go toe-to-toe in the first round of the 2010 World Cup. I am so ready for the excuse to drink mass quantities of beer in the morning.

You know, this could be the greatest bet of all time; if the U.S. wins, we get England, and if England wins, they get the United States of America. It would be the most watched event in the history of the world. And would remain the most watched event forever, unless they approve my idea to drop 100,000 babies from a plane and only 99,999 have parachutes, but wait: a giant stork is trained to rescue the unlucky baby… but will it make it in time?