I think I can officially confirm that the White House is struggling… Robert Gibbs, who does most of the speaking for the President, used the “What are you? High?” comeback. I think the last time I used that I was 22 years old and turning down my buddy’s suggestion of taking a shot of Bacardi 151. From this story:

“I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested,” Gibbs said. “I mean, it’s crazy.”

You must be the highest motherfucker in the world to take the White House press secretary job.

These douche bags (the ones on either side of the douchey-looking Vice President) are the people that went to the that dinner at the White House and they weren’t invited and the security at the White House let them in and wander around all they wanted. they had to go in front of Congress or something and they both said they would decline to speak according to their rights given to them in the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution.

Then the Congress people started asking them questions. So they said they decline to speak according to their rights given to them in the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution… and then the Congress people asked them more questions… so they said…

How god damn stupid are the people in Congress? If you want an answer, it is: really. The people in Congress are really god damn stupid. They plead the Fifth, they’re going to plead the Fifth for everything. Stop asking them questions, quit wasting every-one’s time and move to the next step.

It’s like when this chick I was dating asked me if I was cheating on her. I said I wasn’t going to dignify that with a response and I was appalled that she would even ask me…. which was obviously a joke because she said it when she caught me in bed with another chick. I thought it was a really funny thing to say.

Some dude took off all his clothes and went for a jog near the White House. And people are calling him crazy? Why, because he wants to show the country there’s a bright side of life. But it was only 35 degrees out, who jogs naked when it’s that cold. You don’t find that funny? There’s nothing funny about the state of the nation. Fuck you. Kill-joy. I tip my hat to you, Mr. Naked Jogger.

President Barack Obama is hosting dinner for some important people from India, they call this deal a State Dinner; but the big news is that there are celebrities going… from here:

• Also on the list were Hollywood moguls Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg.

Who the fuck cares? No, that’s not me saying that; that is a direct quote from the Indian dude… probably. Oh and, of course, because politicians and their dumb-ass people are a bunch of F’n douche bags:

• Guests with ties to India included Deepak Chopra (CHAHP’-ruh), director M. Night Shyamalan (SHAH’-mah-lahn) and CNN Medical Correspondent Sanjay Gupta, Obama’s original choice for the post of U.S. surgeon general.

Oh, that’s nice - make these foreign Indian people feel at home by inviting a couple of people with Indian sounding last names. How embarrassing…

There’s a story from the Associated Press in the TODAY Show section of msnbc.com about the guy who walks the President’s dog when the President’s wife is not around. It’s not worth reading, but here’s the link anyway. I only care because I got to put the word ‘bitches’ in the title, and people are going to think I’m talking about some White House women. But then they’ll see it’s about actual dogs and wonder why they automatically think of women when they see/hear the word ‘bitches.’ And then, shortly after, they’ll figure it out: because women are bitches.