Political Sex

One of those guys is Logan Campbell, a not-very-good-at-all olympic athlete from New Zealand. What he seems to be good at… hold on, I kind of want to build up the suspense. But I don’t really have any way to build it up – I don’t really care about this guy’s past or anything.

I could tell you about how I still dream of one day becoming an olympic athlete – Curling. Greatest olympic sport of all time. And something I’m pretty sure I could start training for tomorrow or when I turn 50, and make the next olympic games. Do you know the best part about being in the olympics (if you immediately thought ‘to represent my country’ send me a note and we can meet up so I can smack you on the nose with a rolled up magazine, NO!), it’s Olympic Village where only olympic athletes are allowed; smokin’ hot people who’ve done nothing but train their whole lives and the first thing they want to do when they’re done with their event is another olympic athlete…

Anyway, that guy’s a pimp now. I think I may have killed any interest. I’m bored as hell now. He needs money to go to the Olympics, so he started a brothel – which is legal in New Zealand. And they make bank, Minimum charge is $325 for two hours, including sex, while $1,965 buys “a whole night with one of our ladies, restaurant, dancing and then back to the hotel.” Here’s the story. Pay attention to the marketing ideas that Donald Trump and Sir Richard Branson would applaud: “Wet & Wild Sunday Special,” “Tuesday 3Some — get your second lady half price!” Awesome.

Well, that worked out after all. I guess the lesson we can all come away with is that we now know that there’s place that offers a deal on the second whore, and that is a little something the business world calls a bargaining chip, for the next time a pimp tries to tell you that NO ONE gives deals on the second whore.

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