Political Sex

Wasn’t the slutty daughter of Sarah Palin (she’s that dopey idiot who was Republican vice presidential candidate) a hot 17 year old… Look at that picture of her on the cover of US Magazine. This is why I never talk to girls after I have sex with them, just in case I knock them up – they turn into chubby little school-marms. And I don’t even know what I marm is, which means marms are so unattractive it doesn’ t even work as a porn spoof (because if they did, I would have seen it – admitting to watching porn makes me edgy and real). From this story:

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal exclusively in the new Us Weekly that they are getting married.

And, they tell Us Weekly, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been kept in the dark about their plans … until now.

Oh no, what will Sarah do… oh, right, put out a press release:

Bristol at 19 is now a young adult. We obviously want what’s best for our children. Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.

So Sarah Palin’s daughter get knocked up by some loser, and it’s a great example of the trials we all go through, and then the loser runs away and does Playgirl and Sarah Palin calls him Ricky Hollywood, an aspiring porn actor, and now that the daughter and the loser are getting married it’s a great example of forgiveness. We should all take a lesson from Bristol Palin.

That kid is pretty cute, though; it’s just unfortunate he comes from the gene pool equivalent of mixing Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.

Related posts:

1. the Bristol Palin reality show just looks fantastic…
2. another idiot with a book: Bristol Palin…
3. unfortunately for Sarah and Bristol Palin, Paris Hilton already holds the patents on stupid and slutty…
4. please let this Bristol Palin nonsense just end…
5. hire Bristol Palin to talk about sex…